The New RoboCop Car

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If you’re old enough – or just like old movies – you’ll get a deja vu kick (in the head) when you read about the new Carbon Cop Car, the E7. It will bring forth memories of the black-clad U.S. Police Force from Escape From New York (Kurt Russell/Lee Van Cleef classic) or maybe Mad Max’s Pursuit Special. Or the SUX2000 from RoboCop.

Only this one’s for real. Not a prop. And coming to a speed trap near you, soon.

For the first time in the history of American traffic enforcement, cops will not be cruising around in repainted Crown Vics or Impalas that are otherwise much like what Grandma drives – including their (usually) slow-pokey drivetrains.

The Carbon E7 is a purpose-built (and law enforcement-only) machine that – as the cliche says – takes it to a whole new level. Only it’s not a cliche in this case, because it’s 110 percent true.

Unfortunately.

I use that word because of the bleak, almost Orwellian, IngSoc-echoing speechlines used to present it, for openers. I quote from the company prospectus:

“More than eight years after 9/11 (there you go… you knew it was coming) our country’s 840,000 law enforcement first-responders continue to utilize inconsistently outfitted retail passenger vehicles meant for consumer use which do not provide the safety and performance capabilities appropriate to (drumroll, please) protect our homeland against threats… ”

Can you hear the strains of Oceania, ‘Tis for Thee?

Well, it doesn’t get better.

This car – this civilian assault vehicle, actually – is the perfect four-wheeled accompaniment for modern day, post-911 buzz-cut, steroid-jacked and militarized “law enforcement” (note the transformation; peace officers don’t exist any longer). It is of a piece with the changeover from six-shooters to high-capacity autoloaders and flak jackets – and just the thing for dealing with the probably soon-to-be-restless Mundanes.

Get ready:

The E7 “will utilize weapons of mass destruction detection sensors, automatic license plate recognition, infrared (night vision) cameras and its proprietary On-Board Rapid Command Architecture.”

All the better to see you with, my pretty. And keep track of you, too.

Each car will (or can) “act as a new Homeland Security Platform upon which modern communications systems may be deployed to act as a node for more effective and reliable interoperability.”

In other words, the police state is now mobile.

The fierce-looking car with its integrated LED “wig wags” and brutally jutting push bars up front will be the perfect set piece for the New America. In addition to its 400 lb.-ft. turbo-diesel engine and 150 MPH top speed capability, it has “ballistic” (armored) panels, 360 degree exterior surveillance/recording ability,
molded “perp bucket” seats in back (for “safer suspect ingress and egress” – and “hoseable,” too) plus suspect audio/video recording capability – and it can take a 75 MPH hit – “officer safety” being of the highest-priority in the Homeland these days.

A fleet of E7s patrolling your area will Know all and See all. Cruising down neighborhood streets, every out-of-date license tag, every not-paid fine, will quickly be identified and processed. Law enforcement will become so much more efficient.

Read: Remunerative.  Bear in mind that most if not all the foregoing features will be most usefully applied not against criminal thugs but rather against ordinary people who’ve committed some penny-ante infraction. Only pennies won’t be involved.  And not just in the form of the “revenue” enhancement that the E7 will facilitate but also in the form of the price tag that comes with each of these custom-made, for-cops-only cruisers. The company’s not saying How Much, but you can bet it’ll be more – a lot more – than the cost of a fleet-service Crown Vic, which costs about $22k direct from Ford. The Vic and other such cars are mass-produced by a major automaker that has the benefit of economies of scale. The E7 will be relatively low-volume (cops only) and so necessarily more expensive – and that’s without getting into the elaborate bells and whistles of this thing. Just another way to mulct the public in the “post 911 world.”

Another E7 feature the company touts is exclusivity. Mere Mundanes will no longer be driving what the cops drive. The cops of the New America will stand apart, which is fitting, given the menacing presence they’ve become.

Law enforcement has become an unclean profession, a sanctioned “career path” for people who are often bullies and even sociopaths (see, for example, this recent video of an Ohio Cop threatening to execute a concealed handgun (CHP) permit holder who was pulled over for no lawful reason and then berated so relentlessly he was not able to even tell the cop he was a CHP holder, though he tried mightily to do so nonetheless: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kassP7zI0qc&feature=results_main&playnext=1&list=PL741ABA7640F96E38 ).

People who would ordinarily have no fear of cops because they don’t commit crimes – that is, they don’t steal, assault or kill – are now in the crosshairs of “law enforcement” because the laws now target what used to be lawful, routine interactions between free and consenting people (examples: Kids setting up a lemonade stand – that’s illegal now. Gotta have a permit for that. Can’t sell milk to your neighbor; if you do, expect a raid by black-clad Ninjas. Etc.)  And of course, there’s the now-common over-the-top reaction, over-reaction, properly stated – to what used to be normal cop-civilian interactions. Argue with a cop? You can expect to be Tazered or worse. Fail to immediately Submit and Obey (no matter how outrageous or even illegal the demand) and you have invited a wood shampoo for “resisting.” Raise your own hand to deflect a blow headed for your face and that’s felony assault on a cop. Take your beating like a man.

Well, a man of the New America, anyhow.

At least we’ll no longer have to sweat that blue Crown Vic up ahead. In the New America, it will just be Grandma for sure.

See here for more depressing details: http://www.carbonmotors.com

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  23 comments for “The New RoboCop Car

  1. dom
    September 15, 2011 at 9:47 pm

    Shoot.. I’ll be the first to comment on this one. What a fucking waste of money!

    Update: Just watched that video. Holy smokes! Since when did they start teaching at the Police Academy for the cops to go completely nuts screaming/lecturing because they didn’t do they job correctly. Hope that scum bag cop loses his job and gets his ass kicked (a few times). Fucking low life scum bag. Do your job correctly, ass-wipe!

  2. mithrandir
    September 16, 2011 at 1:03 am

    I wish I could say I am shocked at what I saw in the video. Unfortunately, I have seen similar actions from many different locations on the net. Although this is probably a small percentage of all LEO, 3% of 1 million is still 30,000 (IDK the # of LEOs, but you get the idea.) which is still way too many.

    Fortunately, I have not experienced any of this personally, but this is unacceptable behavior for a police officer.

    I expect an officer of the law to treat others with respect, even if they do not receive respect from those they deal with on a daily basis. They need to set an example for others to follow.

    I do not think the cost of the cars can be justified. This type of revenue enforcement will not be liked by the mundanes. It really affects those who have something to lose. Those with little or no assets will fly under the radar. The rest will get caught with paying paper.

  3. Gil
    September 16, 2011 at 2:56 am

    “People who would ordinarily have no fear of cops because they don’t commit crimes – that is, they don’t steal, assault or kill”

    Which is to say Libertarians who are drinking beer while they drive out to their drug labs.

    • dom
      September 16, 2011 at 3:08 am

      Dude, your comments.. I’m mean really? Seriously? I think you’re suffering from a combination of issues. Obviously you haven’t found a solution, or path to help yourself. Writing like a fucking idiot on our website is not going to make your life better.

    • September 16, 2011 at 9:30 am

      Idiot. That’s what you are. You just watched a video (embedded in the article you’re commenting on here) that shows a cop threatening to summarily execute a motorist, a motorist he had no lawful reason to stop in the first place, who had a lawful concealed weapons permit and who made every attempt to so inform the cop (who berated him into silence every time he tried).

      Think maybe that motorist has a reason now to fear cops?

      • Gil
        September 17, 2011 at 6:56 am

        It’s noting what you listed as “crimes” – i.e. crimes only via Libertarian standards.

        • September 17, 2011 at 6:11 pm

          Mmmmmm!! Boot taste goooooood!!!!

  4. BrentP
    September 16, 2011 at 3:18 am

    I’ve saw an earlier version of this car (perhaps even the same car) in person a couple-three years ago. I got a good behind the scenes look all by accident.* From what I saw it is clearly a sales prototype by a company that in my opinion is looking to benefit from some fatherland security money. It appeared to me to be a start-up concept looking for interest more than anything.

    I don’t think we’ll be seeing many (if any) carbon motors cars used by cops any time soon or ever. If the concept of a purpose built police cruiser takes hold in light of the government finally succeeding in killing off the affordable full size american sedan (it only took them 35 years also see: http://blogs.automobilemag.com/dyer-consequences-carbon-motors-police-car-1238.html ) in my opinion the government will pick a company with an inside track. If any of their executives have it, it doesn’t seem to be in their bios on the website. Then again I could be wrong. Their development money appears to be coming from some state level government grants and I guess private sources. From the web I can only find they applied for federal funds but not that they received them. This company seems to have less ability to get tax payer money than Tesla Motors.

    Not that this changes any of the points made. If it’s not Carbon Motors it will be some other company that will get to feed off taxpayers through the government or it will be modified chevies and fords with the same sort of gadgets.

    *I saw the car here: http://www.carbonmotors.com/galleries/pictures/details/1001 Just an accident of good weather that I had picked that day to visit.

    As to cop behavior… Well the reason I run video when driving most of the time is due to a run in with a steroid charged cop not much unlike the one in the video. That cop’s language is pretty telling. How he sees himself above us mere people.

    • dom
      September 16, 2011 at 3:30 am

      On the site it says something about the owners used to be cops, or something like that. Also says they have already purchased 250k BMW power plants. I read it earlier, so might not be 100% accurate and I am too lazy to look again.

      • September 16, 2011 at 9:45 am

        The specifications are similar; BMW rates the 3.0 liter diesel (used in the current 3 Series and other models) at 425 ft-lbs. @ 1750 rpm
        and 265 hp @ 4200 rpm.

        This is slightly less than the Carbon’s rated output.

        Still, the cost has to be enormous.

        My buddy owns a repair shop and I get to read his “jobber” magazines that list the prices of replacement engines of various types. A crate BMW turbo-diesel is probably around $10k. Could be more.

        How much is a crate 4.6 liter V-8 for a Vic? Probably half that. Plus simpler (no turbo, for one).

        Yes, the diesel may last longer – but does that matter in a cop car? I mean, the rest of the car will age, too. I don’t think any departments keep their cruisers for more than about 150,000 miles before retiring them. In which case, the long-term durability advantage of the diesel engine would be irrelevant. They’d have to put probably 250k at least to make up the difference.

    • BrentP
      April 3, 2013 at 1:31 am

      Told ya so :)

      Carbon motors is dead. They did not get the fedgov check they were looking for.

      http://jalopnik.com/is-carbon-motors-dead-465692494

      • April 3, 2013 at 10:33 am

        Reason to cheer!

        Reason not to cheer: Ford has received huge orders for cop versions of the Taurus and Explorer. These vehicles are much harder to pick out – and more capable – than the Vic.

        Be careful out there…

  5. dom
    September 16, 2011 at 3:19 am

    http://www.carbonmotors.com/machine/specifications

    Price:

    “Comparable to Retail Passenger Car Outfitted with Law Enforcement Equipment.”

    I call bullshit on the price!

    Quick Specs:

    Engine Forced Induction Diesel

    Driveline Rear-Wheel-Drive
    Horsepower > 250 bhp
    Torque > 400 lb-ft
    Curb Weight 4000 lbs
    0 – 60 mph 6.5 seconds
    Quarter Mile 14.5 seconds @ 98.0 mph
    Combined City/Hwy Fuel Economy 28 – 30 mpg

    Think I read on on there it’s a BMW engine.

    How cool would it be to have this power plant in a regular car!

  6. Bryce
    September 16, 2011 at 1:17 pm

    One key downside to the E7 is that it will be easily recognizable as a police car; similarly to the Crown Vic today. That takes a lot of the stealth out of things like speed traps, which isn’t a bad thing.

    In my neck of the woods, some local cops have the new Chargers. One is an undercover car with a spoiler, air dam, and alloy wheels. You don’t know you’re being clocked until it’s too late.

    • dom
      September 16, 2011 at 1:30 pm

      Hi Bryce.

      Solution = Valentine One

      I purchased one last year and have been wondering why the hell I waited so long. Best automotive accessory EVER!

      • Boothe
        September 16, 2011 at 5:30 pm

        I understand that the police need the proper tools to do their job (and a much more limited job than what they’re doing at present); but only within the bounds of being economically reasonable and without militarization.

        Attend your town council / county board of supervisors meetings and oppose the money required for this Barney Fife F-16 and any other “toys for the boys” that aren’t truly necessary for keeping the peace. Write letters to your local newspaper editors and raise this issue on internet blogs (just like we’re doing right now). Become part of that tireless minority that vocally refuses to pay for boondoggles like this and Carbon Motors will go the way of the Dodo bird, as they should.

      • methylamine
        September 16, 2011 at 11:16 pm

        Amen to that sir! My Valentine and my Laser Interceptor laser jammer have paid for themselves twice over at least. Plus, there’s that satisfying moment when you drive past one of those bull-necked steroid-addled assholes smacking his laser gun wondering why he can’t get a reading!

        Priceless.

    • methylamine
      September 17, 2011 at 2:57 am

      Those Charger cop cars are despicable. Here in Houston, they even have stealth graphics; the cop logos are rendered in a light gray over white paint so they’re hardly visible during the day.

      I find it loathsome that police departments resort openly to these tactics. They’re openly announcing it’s “Us vs. Them”. We’re the Mundanes. They’re the Exalted Ones.

      Will Grigg says it best at his blog:
      The Mundane Must Submit

      • BrentP
        September 17, 2011 at 6:20 am

        One of the speed trap suburbs takes their charger to car shows… Just GIS ‘kildeer charger’

  7. SojournerMoon
    September 17, 2011 at 2:10 pm

    Hopefully it goes nowhere, but it wouldn’t surprise me if they could get some politician on their board that stood to gain a lot of money from sales to government and suddenly they start selling like hotcakes at $250k a pop, equipped. Heck, maybe they could put some Solyndra solar panels on it, and Obama himself would sign the check.

    I also appreciate your point that the kinds of “crimes” that these systems are designed to stop are victimless crimes. Expired license plates? Unpaid fines? The only harm from those is to some bureaucrat’s pocketbook. In a day and age where so many laws over such little concerns are being passed, it’s virtually impossible to not be breaking a law by simply existing. This car is just another system to streamline the monetization of such “crimes” while actual criminals are not only getting away with murder, they’re getting elected to office.

    It reminds me of ancient history when various rulers and kings would pass laws forcing the worship of themselves as gods upon penalty of death. We are supposed to venerate and grovel at the feet of our “heroes,” the “authorities,” while they fleece us of everything we have, including our dignity. Maybe history DOES repeat itself.

    • September 17, 2011 at 3:29 pm

      The whole “expired plate” (and registration thing) irks me especially – as the owner of multiple vehicles. I’ve got two trucks, a car and five motorcycles. Each one has to have plates and current registration. So for each one, I have to pay the %$@!! bureaucratic gods “x” dollars. Individually, not much. Times eight, it adds up.

      • BrentP
        September 17, 2011 at 7:31 pm

        I swear the way insurance, registration, etc is done per vehicle is because the vast mass only has ‘one’ and it’s that ‘screw that “rich” bastard who has more than me’ mentality which the political office holders explit.

        Meanwhile us non-rich people who manage to have more than one vehicle because we take care of our stuff and have a little financial sense and different interests are targeted and punished for being ‘different’. How dare we collect instead of consume.

        • September 18, 2011 at 9:58 am

          And of course, many of us who fall into this category are not rich – we just have several vehicles. Neither of my trucks is anything special; just a pair of older Nissan Frontiers (the newest being an ’02 so almost ten years old) and the five bikes – the newest of which is an ’03. The others are interesting collectibles but not high-dollar collectibles. Only my Trans-Am is worth any kind of “real money” and even that’s not much, maybe $20k. BFD. (And I bought the TA 20 years ago, when these cars were still pretty cheap). Even so, the total is not a massive cache by any standard. Excepting the trucks, most of my stuff falls into the “hobby” category. But as you point out, there is an element that doesn’t like use Plebes having such hobbies and, as the saying goes, if you don’t like something, tax it and you will get less of it.

          When I got my latest bike – the ’74 Kawasaki I am restoring – I did not re-title it in my name. I have a bill of sale and I have the signed old title, so it’s mine and I can prove it, if need be. But I’llbe god-damned if I go to the DMV to get a new title for this $50 hunk of parts (when I got it) and have to pay the sons of bitches for that plus the sales tax (which they’ll assess based on the minimum “book value” not my claimed – and real – $50 purchase price) then the county’s property tax on top.

          Fuck that – and fuck them!

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