Winter Storm Mossberg is now on deck. 70 degrees today – a brief tease – then 11 degrees by tomorrow night, along with a “wintry mix” – freezing rain and maybe 3 inches of frozen sky-piss (snow). 
It’s technically Winter Storm Titan but I like Mossberg better because it conveys my mood – my inclination – after three months of almost nonstop abuse at the hands of this endless, torturous winter. Mr. Mossberg eases the pain, makes one forget… .
No doubt you have heard of “climate change”? The new – beautifully all-encompassing – term for whatever happens to be happening weather-wise is Man’s Fault and must be handled by forcing everyone to ride an electric bus to work and live in a PJ O’Rourkian stack-a-prole urban housing hive from which the said proles can walk to work and back?
I say bring back global warming. Literally bring it back. We need it. Warming, that is. There’s been a definite lack thereof for some time now.
Last summer wasn’t. Where did the global warming go? My part of the globe has been ball-shriveling cold.
Third week of April, 2013 – and there was four inches of frozen sky-piss on the ground here in SW Virginia. Then followed a lot of rain – and nary a day over 80. In short order it was winter. Again.
And here we are.
With no end in sight.
The brutality shows no sign of abating. 11 degrees on deck for tonight. Possibly another 4-6 inches of frozen sky-piss on its way today. The Koi in the pond outside the kitchen window are dead. They thrived for ten years . . . until this year. I have cut eight shivery golden bodies out of the ice … the foot-thick ice … with my chain saw. The pond is four feet deep in the deep end. It’s not enough. Days on end of temps ten, twenty degrees below freezing have done their work.
Everything is dying – including my will to live.
Action must be taken. Man has taken far too long a cig break. It is time for him to get all anthropogenic, baby – and warm up this got-damned planet. I plan to do my part today by firing up my old Pontiac muscle car, those eight huge pistons converting as much unburned hydrocarbons into gaseous carbon dioxide and water vapor as possible. The five bikes might chime in, too. Combined, they make – let’s see now – 14 cylinders and (roughly) the equivalent in displacement of a 5-ish liter V-8. Add the two trucks and that’s another eight cylinders (and about 5 liters) pumping. I could also enlist the tractor, the riding mower… maybe the chainsaws and weed whackers, too.
It will be a symphony of internal combustion.
I urge you to join in. If we all got together, maybe – if Al Gore is right – we could add enough “greenhouse gas” to the ether to finally put and end to all this Pluto-like cold.
It’s worth a try.
And even if it’s a futile gesture – like battlecruiser Hood’s “A” turret firing off one final salvo as the ship broke in two and the front half went vertical before plunging to the bottom of the Atlantic – it’ll make us feel a little better.
If only for a moment.
Throw it in the Woods?
In the former Soviet Union, people DID, as you put it, “ride an electric bus to work and live in a PJ O’Rourkian stack-a-prole urban housing hive from which the said proles can walk to work and back.” I know because I studied abroad in Russia in the late 1990s. There were “trolleybuses” that looked like buses and rode on tires like buses, but were powered by overhead trolley wires. People lived in these hideous concrete block high-rise creations with communal bathrooms. Car ownership was up a lot among the “nouveau-riche” folks, with lots of German sports and luxury cars in the big cities, but most folks used the trolleybuses and the Metro (like NYC, you can get along without a car in Moscow). These living arrangements explained why Chernobyl was so bad; after all, you couldn’t just hop in your car and high-tail it out of the danger zone or shelter in place in your house until things blow over.
What’s even weirder? The West Coast and Australia have been roasting, and Alaska got up to 60 degrees in January!
Hi Bryce,
Yup!
As I type, it’s 17 degrees outside…. white everywhere.
It sucks like a black hole.
Heck, Eric – And I thought it was tough out here in Missour-a. But I guess yesterday with only 1/2 an inch of granular ice on the ground and it getting all the way up to a hgih of 7 degrees F around these parts wasn’t so bad afterall. 😉 This morning on the way to work it was only -1 F and I might have ridden one of my bikes if it wasn’t for the ice on the roads (Not!). I would say to Mr. Gore and his purveyors of Anthropogenic Global Falsehood, the only hot air we’re dealing with in the real world is what comes out of their mouths. Furthermore, let us remind them that it’s the sun, stupid!
I read an article recently where one contrarian climatologist claims we can look forward to a return of warming…ooooh…at about the year 2100! Based on…wait for it…the solar cycle! Since the warmist Chicken Littles’ attack on coal has backfired and now we have fracking (much the same way that the war on drugs brings us ever more dangerous “legal” designer drugs from China) and wind powered bird choppers, the EPA is apparently trying to put tighter restrictions on wood stoves. They want us to freeze to death before we start asking where all our Social Security money went with that question potentially being punctuated with loaded AR-15s and M1As.
Back about 1971 or 72, Dr. John T. Baldwin (of the William & Mary biology dept.) told me that he wouldn’t live to see it, but I (being about 12 years old at the time) would live to see a mini ice age. Now I realize that the MSM of that day was predicting imminent global freezing at the same time, but Dr. Baldwin’s proposed time line was decades longer as I recall. Here I am at 54 years old going “Hmmm, maybe Dr. Baldwin was right?” I think the AGW asshats have it bass-ackwards: I’ll bet it’s going to get colder, a lot colder. And before its over with, Puerto Rico may not even be far enough south to ride your bike in the winter time without heated gloves.
I used to live in Southwest Florida. The average high is literally 75 degrees in January. There’s maybe one freezing NIGHT a year. I’d be absolutely shocked if it was ever “too cold” down there…
Everyone should check out the youtube channel ThunderBoltsProject. The last 70 years of space science is based off of assumptions rather than observations and replication.
Comets are not dirty snowballs, The trenches on Mars were not made by water-flows but rather electrical discharges.
The universe is not full of black holes and dark-matter like a certain Stephen Hawking would insinuate. Rather it is an electric universe where the sun is not a nuclear thermal reaction but a dense cloud of plasma that is fed from electric currents from outer space, not from nuclear fusion within.
Standard Model Scientists would tell you that univerves are seperate and do not interact with one another. Well, there are no islands in space people!
You are getting into Velikovsky and Talbott territory there. Very interesting stuff. Velikovsky’s first three books, and probably the rest – I haven’t read them – are absolutely fascinating.
That’s why I left the hellhole of the northeaster US. After going through the longest month (February), A March storm roars in to kick you when you’re down.
Western Colorado has had a slightly warmer than normal winter this year, and actually hasn’t been all that bad precipitation-wise, at least once you get away from the high country, which got dumped on (snow pack is 108% of normal as of last week and they got more snow over the weekend).
But even in years when winter drags itself out, at least we can drop into Denver or somewhere with a lower altitude and thaw out. Believe me, a long weekend in regular shoes and jackets can do wonders.
So if you’re going to move, go west young man and seek your fortune (but avoid Denver and Colorado Springs like the plague …too many nut cases on both sides of the fence).
Eric, to paraphrase WU, this week is due to be 30-40 degrees colder than normal for the west Rockies. I read that this week-end and was sure glad not to be there. They didn’t say what “normal” was this time of year but I remember trucking there and wearing everything I had with me including thermal overalls. My main memories of Co. involve never being able to feel my toes except for the pain coming from them. In the summer I’d deliver loads and the temps would be around 80, nearly a chill for me and the locals would be crying because of the heat. I guess in Tx. you sign up for most anything but 3 months of ice storms and single digit temps? The bloom is off the rose so to speak.
I worked up in Aspen today in a sweatshirt. It was 60 when I got home (100 miles and 1200 feet down the road). Calling for rain and 50s all week here, but as I said, snow up in the high country.
It’s said in Colorado if you don’t like the weather, just wait a few minutes and it will change. I’d add to that “Or you can drive a few miles down the road.”
It’s 8:40 am and 4 degrees outside. The snow is coming down pretty good. I just had a few cups of cappuccino and will be heading outside in a little bit to mess around in the yard. I love this cold weather!
Wait a while….
You’ll be 40 soon enough.
And then, we’ll talk!
*laff*
I forgot to mention I get paid to stay home on snow days!
Dom,
Nice to get paid for staying home.
Winter is great for skiing/snowboarding, although as I mentioned before, this winter (Jan-now 2014) has been too cold for too long. Only 4 days of 40+ weather and too many snow storms. I willing to ship most of my snow out west where it will do much good.
Tonight it will be about 5°F. Too #$%$ cold for my taste.
i actually broke my ice scraper this morning it was so bad and tonite we are supposed to get down to 2 degrees here in southern PA. this has been the most miserable winter I have ever lived through. this is part of the reason so many people live in florida and commiefornia. but living there means dealing this those douchenozzles year-round.
“frozen sky-piss”
that one made me laugh out loud at my desk (I will use it in the future) and get some looks from co-workers.
thank you for the rant and creating a little joy on another frozen monday morning.
An interesting thing I noticed…
chemstrails supposedly are an attempt to get the planet to cool off, to combat AGW (anthropogenic Global Warming.)
It means spraying metal compounds into the air, which eventually go back to the ground in precipitation. And of course, guess where THAT goes.
I’m upset by the whole mess because I’ve noticed variations in the snow (Boston area) that don’t make sense, based on my growing up in NJ.
So, cold, cold cold: Lots of small, granular flakes. A little warmer, more moisture: Big floppy flakes. That’s what I remember….
The last few years… Maybe 5? I’m noticing metallic tastes and smells in FRESH-FALLEN SNOW. Always used to smell “fresh”, “Clean” – yet now, it smells and tastes like metal oxides.
Maybe I’m imagining things, but IIRC, this is the worst winter EVER. And Al Gore has the stones to fly around in his OWN 747 lecturing US about cutting our “carbon footprint” – while the ELECTRIC BILL for his house in VA (I think it was) is higher per MONTH than my disposable income PER YEAR.
By all means, let’s listen to the High Priests about how many humans we must sacrifice to the god of (AGW / Statism / weather / Nature Conservancy / whatever).
Be a real shame if someone figure out how to make concealable rocket launch rails and dropped a few incendiaries on these “luminaries'” homes every once in a while…
“The Gods are Angry, Mr. Gore. If man was supposed to fly, he would’ve been born with wings. “
When tires go across the latest snowfall it sounds like driving on Styrofoam. It’s a screech quite a bit like nails going down a chalkboard. Can’t say as I’ve ever noticed such a sound from driving on snow.
Usually we get many different kinds of snowfalls here in the Midwest. I’ve read the Eskimos have many words to describe the different types of snowflakes and snowfalls. This year, I think I would only use one or two, all the snow has been that same puffy and light snow Jean described. None of it makes for good snowballs when it first falls. That’s odd for this area.
Ya, I’ve noticed variations in the snow that don’t make sense, too. Geoengineering sucks.
Eric. Come out to CA and help us breakup the place into 3 pieces. Then the stoned greenie commie and non english speaking aliens in LA & SF will have to stike a deal with us normals if they want any drinking water.
I’ve been all over CA many times; it’s a gorgeous state. But several impediments stand in the way of my ever living there:
The anti-gun laws are a non-starter for me. I could not bring my (legal in Virginia) “assault rifle” or “high capacity” magazines with me. I could not – legally- carry my pistol.
The anti-car laws would probably preclude me from bringing my Trans-Am into the state (it will not pass CA emissions and there’s no way I’d spend the money to make it pass, as by replacing the non-OE cast iron Pontiac headers – which are gorgeous as well as free flowing- with the ugly and shitty flowing factory manifolds… nor install single exhaust with a cat in place of the duals with no cats.. and my “modified” engine would have to be torn down and rebuilt to CA “stock” specifications.
Taxes are absolutely outrageous. Virginia is a paradise in comparison.
I’m inclined toward the parts of AZ that are not too damned hot….
CA started rolling exemptions for emissions some years ago but I think they capped it at 1977 or 1980 or somewhere in between. I lost track of it. If you’re serious about it just look it up, but I think your car is now exempt there.
Virginia is almost subtropical when compared to northern Wisconsin. Since late fall the brief periods just barely above freezing might amount to a few hours. According to The Weather Channel, it got down to -18 yesterday morning. There has been no shortage of snow either. If it all melts at once and is accompanied by normal rainfall for early spring, Iowa could be in for some nasty flooding.
Hi Marc,
Yup – that’s why I’m so bitter! Virginia (SW Virginia) is not supposed to have winters like this. If you live in Wisconsin – or Alaska – you expect it. You signed up for it.
Me not so much.
I have never much liked winter… real winters. A couple months of moderate (30s-40s) cold with maybe a few days in the 20s, no problem. But three-four months of biting, skin-cracking, ball sack shriveling bitter cold? Hell no!
It ruins everything. Can’t ride. Don’t want to run. Spend hours every day hauling firewood just to try to keep warm. Clean up the mess. Repeat. For a third the year?
Hell no!
eric, run a line straight down from the east side of the Tx. panhandle and one straight east from the east/west line of far west Tx and where they meet is close to where I am. It was 11° this morning and 3° at my buddy’s on the plains.
I thought ’83 was bad when we had two, count ’em, two feet of snow but after a month of 5° to -5°, sometimes -10° even the snow and ice had been boiled off. It was a watershed year for killing everything including livestock and wildlife, ancient trees, etc. But it did warm up in Jan to some degree and Feb for sure. I had volunteer plants under a blanket of snow in the garden when it melted.
This year has been colder longer though, the worst I’ve seen including ’88 when it reached -17° one night, froze the stock tank 18″ deep. Still, we’ve had 4 bad ice storms with the 5th being mild yesterday. Even CJ doesn’t want to go outside, hogs keep knocking on the door and kitties….kitties? Under the bed since they can’t all camp out on me. I left my mattress pad on, covered in cats now and I don’t blame em.
Calf rope, I give, enough of this global warming. What’s really bad is the last 3 years it’s been 110-115° during the summer and NO RAIN. Cargill shut down the processing plant for cattle last year due to no cattle, and they’re at an all time low in count.
Wish I had something to reach those chemtrail planes with. All the way up to 17° as I write this. BTW, the “snow” yesterday looked like it had come out of a salt shaker. Stick me with a fork, I’m done.
1) CO2 does not warm the planet. Or at least I remain unconvinced. CO2 is just not an effective. However, the other product of the equation, water vapor is an effective green house gas.
2) While I know the feeling, I can’t sympathize. It’s worse here. Even a 1980s deep freeze winter cracked by now but this hasn’t. This may be the first sign of Ragnarök, the Fimbulvetr.
I really, really hate winter and this one has been (and still is) a bear. Near constant frigid temperatures and snow. Let me tell you it does not get any easier dealing with this stuff as you get older! I can really understand why so many people retire to warmer areas.
I love the idea of firing up all the vehicles and making some nice, warming CO2! I’m going to have to shovel them all out of the snow first, though. In the meantime I’ll turn on all the 100-watt incandescent lights in the house…
Ditto that, Jason.
This is the first year – the first time in my life – that I have seriously considered moving to someplace where there is no winter. Or at least, where winter is a few weeks of temps in the 40s and 50s.
Pass 40 and you just get tired of it. You’re also more aware of the finite amount of time you have left. The prospect of being miserable for nearly (or fully) a third of each year begins to grate. I’m sick of not being able to ride my motorcycles or drive my Trans Am… or even work on them. Of running (which I love) sucking ass because of the cold and the got-damned snow and ice.
Honestly, if the real estate market were not in the toilet and we could sell our place without losing a small fortune, I would be seriously thinking about a move.
One more winter of this, and I will be willing to take a bath on the house if need be to get away from this entropic nightmare.
Life really is too short.
I left 40 in the rearview mirror a long time ago! My joints start to ache at this point just looking at the snow that’s going to have to be shoveled to get the vehicles freed up.
I’d love to move someplace warmer, not sure where though. California is out, it’s just a total left-wing nuthouse. Politically it would be jumping out of the frying pan into the fire. Maybe Florida or Arizona? Texas? Pacific Northwest? (Too bad the “Free State Project” is rooted in snowy, cold New Hampshire!)
It’s just a pipe dream at the moment for a number of reasons, but may be possible some time down the road before I croak…
Love it. We could start our own holiday: Climate Change Day.
A day to celebrate technology and burn as many hydrocarbons as possible.
– – –
see also:
Nullify the vegetarian moral crusade:
For every animal you don’t eat, I’m going to eat three
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=sponsor
The Case For the Grinch
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=case_for_grinch
Airline fees I’d be happy to pay
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=airline_fees