Fast Car Futility

By
eric
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51
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Fast cars are fun – because it’s fun to feel the power of a car that can go fast. It is essentially the same reason why people like roller coaster rides. Not many people would pay to ride one that was slow.

It’s the same with cars – especially electric cars. Their ability to go fast being the attribute that lets people who buy them overlook how slowly they recharge. Yet it is different in that – unlike roller coasters – fast cars are not allowed to do what the people who bought them paid to be able to do with them.

You buy a new Corvette – or Tesla – both of them very fast. But legally speaking, they are no faster than the slowest cars available. No car may legally be driven faster than about 80 MPH in this country – and even that is a legal rarity. In most parts of the country, the fastest a car may legally be driven is about 70-75 MPH.

A Chevy Chevette from the ’70s can go that fast – at least, eventually.

It is true (per the above) that a new Corvette or Tesla can get to 70 more quickly – but even that is legally dicey. If you accelerate away from a red light as fast as a Corvette or Tesla is capable of accelerating – and there is a cop behind you – he will stop you, even if you slow down just shy of how fast you’re allowed to go. He will hand you what is styled a “ticket”- which is to say, a piece of paper that says you owe the government a large sum of money – because you accelerated at a rate considered (by the cop) to be “unsafe” or even “reckless.”

Commercial drivers know all about this. Anything faster than tepid is considered aggressive and duly noted whenever the driver does it. So as to punish him for doing it. It isn’t even necessary to get a cop to stop him to do that, either.

The long and the short being: What’s the point of owning fast cars you’re legally prohibited from using and will be punished for if caught using?

Well, the point is that we all know it is still possible (if you’re not a commercial driver) to “get away”with using them. Or at least, enough of the time to make it worth paying to own a fast car. We know that cops can’t be everywhere and that a good radar detector – and situational awareness – can greatly reduce the chances of being punished for using the fast car’s capabilities.

In other words, we can still use a fast car’s capabilities, irrespective of the illegality of doing so.

But what will happen when cops are everywhere – and it becomes impossible to “get away”with driving a fast car as it is capable of being driven?

It won’t be cops, of course.

It will be technology.

It will be styled “assistance” – and it will be very “advanced.”

It’s already here, too.

Most 2023 model year vehicles have what is styled “speed limit assistance technology,” ostensibly to ever-so-helpfully let the driver know when he is “speeding.” As if he didn’t know it. As if he weren’t “speeding” deliberately. In Europe, this technology is even more helpful in that it prevents the driver from “speeding.” He pushes down on the accelerator and the car pushes back, thwarting acceleration. New vehicles sold in this country have that same technology; it merely hasn’t yet been enabled. Because it is necessary to acclimate the frog to the warming water – such that the frog never realizes it’s getting uncomfortably hot until he’s already cooked.

Teslas have telematics and real-time recording of how fast you’re going, duly noted (that’s all, for now) by Tesla’s in-house insurance mafia. It would be a matter of flipping a switch – almost literally – to automatically prevent a Tesla from being driven any faster than a ’70s Chevette.

This raises some very interesting questions about electric vehicles especially. If their ability to go very fast very quickly is throttled automatically to no more than the capabilities of a ’70s Chevette then why would anyone want to spend five times as much than it cost to buy a Chevette to buy what amounts to a very expensive Chevette?

An absurd Chevette.

After all, Chevy’s most infamous economy car was exactly that. An economy car. It did not tout how fast it was – because it was very slow. But the upside was it was very cheap. It thus provided exactly what it advertised, that being an inexpensive way to get from A to B. If you wanted to get from A to B faster (and more quickly) you could buy a Corvette.

What happens when everything is a Chevette – and not merely in terms of what they say you’re allowed to do with it but in terms of their being able to make sure you can’t do it?

Will people willingly pay Corvette money to drive what amounts to a Chevette? It may look like more than a Chevette. It may be theoretically capable of doing more than a Chevette. But – thanks to the “advancement” of “technology,” it will be kind of like an aging glam rock start who can’t do it anymore strutting around vaingloriously with a sock stuffed into his spandex pants.

As in for show only.

. . .

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Related posts:
  1. Life in the Slow Fast Lane
  2. Fast Cars We Can’t Use…
  3. Life in The Slow Lane (In a Fast Car)
  4. Quick – But Not So Fast
  5. Vin-Not-So-Fast

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51 COMMENTS

  1. In a strange twist, Chicago area troopers are so busy they essentially ignore you unless you are doing over 80 in a 55 and even then, it is just a look, let alone an attempted stop. It is not abnormal for people to cruise at 90 on I90. I was casually getting passed by dodge rams once which must have been going close to 100. Go out early Sun. morning in the summer and you see every supercar and sport bike testing their capability.

    But this is also the land of no license plates and stolen cars everywhere also going fast

  2. I have had a C8 for 3 years and 18k mi. Where I can use the power 100% and do everytime, is getting on the freeway, briefly. Get up to 90 or so in a flash and coast it down to 75. At speed maybe 5 seconds. In SF Bay Area. Was pulled over once by a CHP and she just wanted to tell me she was shocked at how fast I got on the freeway. Let me go because she said I saw her and got off the gas, though that’s how I always get on. The other time is by going around slow turns fast, which I really enjoy. Also I must say, though expensive at $450, hiring a lawyer to fight a ticket works everytime, and you don’t have to visit the court. Gives a lot of peace of mind to take the insurance mafia out of it as well.

    • Hi Woody,

      One of the reasons I moved to a rural area was so that I could enjoy my Trans-Am, which isn’t as fast as your Corvette, probably – but it can do a rolling burnout at 20 MPH! That’s a “reckless driving” cite in Virginia. Also doing 160 on my sport bike. I can do both here with the odds much more favorable than they were in Northern Virginia.

      A good radar detector is also imperative.

  3. This is exactly what I expect to happen, save for the problem of how they will replace speeding ticket revenue.

    The government needs you to break the law as a pretext for fines & searching you and your vehicle for contraband.

    • Hi Dan,

      I expect what they plan on doing is taxing people by the mile; much more “revenue” in that than running radar traps. Also, it is a vehicle for controlling people’s driving, which is just as valuable as money to these cretins.

  5. Ventusky for the Front Range in Colorado

    If you want to know what temperature it is anywhere on the planet, Ventusky is the place.

    Loveland, Colorado had an overnight low of 17 degrees F last night.

    Hey, Colorado is not that bad, don’t knock it.

    All kinds of oil and gas, just have to pay through the nose to get some.

    Supply and Demand

    What else is there?

    How much is enough? Just a little bit more – John D. Rockefeller

    Was sitting on a rock pile at on old farmstead overlooking a large pond of ducks and other wildlife. I hear some rustling close by, next thing I know, I see a rat. I look around and there are rat trails underneath tall grass that are riddled with rats, I see a rat between some rocks where I was sitting on that rock pile. Felt like I was being stalked by dirty rats!

    Was on a miles long bike ride in the countryside far away in another galaxy, skeddadled out of there pronto.

  6. The Supercars aren’t fun under 100 mph…then you go to jail…if you lived within 5 hours drive of a few tracks you get get some use from them….

    If you want fun at any speed, even 30 mph buy a Super7/Caterham or super 7 clone….even at low speed they are fun…more fun then any other car….(other ultralights like the Ariel Atom, would be fine too)…..

    One opinion was they are like a motorcycle but with better handling and brakes…bikers give the thumbs up to them….

    They are the ultimate for sensory feedback…see, hear, feel, smell….steering feedback…. noise….exhaust exit 2 ft from your ear… vibration, throttle response, road feel, sense of speed, wind in your face….. feeling of lightness…some weigh around 1200 lb…..responsive….they change direction like nothing else….

    They are quick…..In 2003, 2004 a Super 7 clone…a Donkervoort had the world record lap time for street legal cars at the Nurburgring

    Note…these cars no have no airbags, ABS, stability control, nothing….just a pure analog driving experience…..you have to drive/control them……

  7. I highly doubt the “governor” switch being clicked on for Teslas would make an ounce of difference to the typical Tesla owner, my neighbors. Rich, “educated”, but pretty effing dumb, typical lefty know it alls who actually know very little. They buy these cars primarily because they are climate change lunatics and are “helping the environment”. They are also overpaid with typical DC make-work jobs that produce nothing. So $60,000 of virtue signaling that you love Gaia and want to lower your carbon footprint is their primary motivation.

    I see -very- few Teslas (other than my own) being driven as one would meant to be driven given the absurd HP / acceleration. In fact! When I drive this way, I’m often given the stink eye by my lefty neighbors probably for soiling the image of the safe, compliant, rule following, big brother loving, Gaia worshipping, EV driver.

    Every once in a while I’ll see one being actually ‘driven’ vs. just dutifully following along at 55 mph, but its a rarity for certain. Fascinatingly, and not to derail the EV hate. 🙂 But… Corvettes I experienced similar. Primarily older gentlemen who had the disposable income to afford very expensive cars. Almost to a man they are putting along at 55-65mph in the 2nd lane. I think in that case its the “dream car” they can finally afford but they are too old to really drive it like they stole it given the risk in doing so.

    One of the great joys of my cross country trip was the dozens and hundreds of miles of –nothing– in between places in this very large nation of ours. Out there you could actually -drive- a car the way it is meant to be driven. Here in Sodom on Potomac? I’m in the panopticon. Every 10th car on the road is a cop car because of the absurd amount of agencies in the DC area. It is a no fun zone, for sure, so I rarely get to do any actual driving. Doubly so because DC traffic is abysmal as everyone knows. I’m taking major risk if I take off like a rocket ship anywhere around the Capital Beltway because of the insane amount of cameras & police.

    In summary- that is the comedic part of the Tesla or high end EVs. It’s primary selling point its speed, is something almost no driver cares about. I know this from observation and anecdotally from people I know that drive them that are dutiful rule following hyper obedient wage slaves. They are selling the virtue signaling of being ‘climate aware’ far more than the Need for Speed.â„¢

    • Hi UserAnon99,

      Yup – I see the same. Teslas – and new Corvettes – driven as if they were Chevettes! The latter, incidentally, is now automatic-only (so much for being America’s “sports car”) and so appeals to middle aged guys who act their age (and older). I don’t why they bother as the Corvette isn’t a comfortable car for an older guy with a big gut and bad knees…

      • Which cars have owners that drive fast?

        Subaru WRX drivers used to get the most tickets in some places….VW GTI drivers used to drive fast….maybe Mustang drivers drive fast?…

        The old muscle car owners like to do burnouts at meets….

        I commented to a BMW M4 owner…It must go fast?…he said yes….and he had the tickets to prove it….lol

    • good stuff 99. we’ve never been asked to run our blackwing by a tesla, don’t expect we would. And we beat the crap out of the blackwing, she doesn’t seem to care. some of our neighbors have complained to keep that ‘crazy caddy a little quieter’ haha…. GM did an amazing job on these cars, and i’m no GM fan at all.
      Your right Eric, another small problem with the blackwing is getting in it. I grunt and my wife says ‘you don’t have to grunt’ haha, she’s right. But it’s worth it grunt and all.

    • …..quote….I see -very- few Teslas (other than my own) being driven as one would meant to be driven ……

      If they drive it hard the range drops like a rock…then they have to hunt for a charger….then sit there for 1 hour for a small charge…and more money gone……lol….if they are not very careful….they have to phone for a tow truck….a really big bill……

  8. I have had recurring nightmares about driving a car that wont accelerate when I push on the pedal. Really frustrating dreams! Rush’s Red Barchetta looks more prescient by the day.

  9. OT: a few days ago I asked the group about a car holster that didn’t require drilling or gluing. This is what I ended up getting: https://www.highwayholster.com/

    The angled end velcros to the seatbelt buckle. The height and length are highly adjustable. I used a cheap Mike’s brand holster. The belt clip didn’t quite go over the attachment point but I was able to bungee it in place (bungees come with the kit).

    So far, so good. And timely too. The other day a friend’s brother got road raged. Long story short, he pulled a gun & told them he’d send the carpetbaggers back to Illinois if they didn’t turn around. They did. He pulled into a gas station to calm down; another car pulled up & said he didn’t do anything wrong / the two yankees were assholes / and he had the man’s back if anything happened.

        • I’m with ML on that Mike. I never leave mine where officer or officeresssesss friendly could see it. I have a little compartment in the bottom of the door that works perfect, or the center armrest.

          Had someone pull a hand canon and point it at me once. Fortunately it was as the freeway split. He went his way and I went mine.

      • Yes! More than likely, if an ossifer sees that thing, he will instantly draw down and order you out of the car at gunpoint. Any sudden moves on your part at that moment would prove detrimental to your health. Even reaching for the seat belt.

        I would look for a place where it’s concealed and accessible quickly.

  10. Fast cars are initially a lot of fun, but the novelty wears off quickly. Having fun always requires very high speeds. Driving them slowly tends to be very frustrating. I’ve always found driving a slow car with a manual transmission fast or slow to be satisfying.

    • It hasn’t for my wife and I yet. 6 +/- months so far and we still giggle driving it.
      Maybe cause it does amazing slow to whatever, just tip in the throttle a little and she can light them up, and spit and growl at you if you want. Easily the most fun I’ve had since my GTO judge, and this one handles and can be civilized too, albeit a little on the small side.

  11. Just gotta know where and when you can use it. It helps to have a lot of cop friends (if needed). And it also helps to know where they typically sit. Radar is your friend as well.
    We’ve been playing with the wife’s new-to-her Caddy Blackwing, and having a lot of fun with it.
    About once a trip, someone wants to race, and we oblige about 50% of the time. haven’t lost yet. And I don’t understand how they know what it is, it only is badged ‘V’, it doesn’t say Blackwing on it anywhere. Maybe they think the ‘V’ means it’s fast, which the std. V is OK, but nowhere near the Blackwing. And ours is the slower CT4 blackwing, I can’t even imagine what the CT5 blackwing can do.

    • The “little” ‘Wing is a very cool car and it’s the first Caddy in years that actually has good exterior looks. Real powerful V6 with 12-second quarters. Not much room in the back seat, though, I’ve heard. The last of a breed possibly before all battery power.

  12. ‘What’s the point of owning fast cars you’re legally prohibited from using and will be punished for if caught using?’ — eric

    Ask a cross-eyed punter at a strip bar with a young coquette’s bazooms gyrating four inches from his pupils, while his bound red lobster claws fecklessly click and clack — what’s the point of ‘look, don’t touch’?

    All he’ll have in the morning is a big credit card bill, and maybe a hangover too. It’s pretty much the same gray-morning aftermath as EeeVee Fever.

    Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be fanbois
    Don’t let ’em charge Teslas or drive Cybertrucks
    Let ’em race Firebirds and Cobras and such

    — Jennings/Nelson, Mamas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys

  13. My co-workers who own Teslas — most of my immediate work group, actually — who opt for the in house insurance racket report getting detailed analysis of their driving habits every month along with an updated rate for the policy which reflects the company’s assessment of the “risk” of covering the driver/vehicle.

    Yeah, Big Brother in extreme, but, as many Tesla owners are finding out in North Austin this month, having the in-house insurance puts you at the front of the line for certified repairs in the event of a large scale weather catastrophe like the hail storm we just had.

    Anyone with non-Tesla insurance has a six month wait for the certified repair process which restores all of the calibration and tech in the glass and body panels, maintaining the warranty. Non-Tesla insurance policy holders have the options of non-certified repairs, which void the warranty, or allowing the insurance company to total the vehicle for about half of retail price, even just a few months old.

    • > Non-Tesla insurance policy holders have the options of non-certified repairs, which void the warranty

      Has Tesla not heard of Magnuson-Moss, or is there some loophole they’ve found?

      • Tesla will fix the vehicles … eventually. It is up to the owners to decide whether they want to wait six months for the parts and tech time to become available.

  14. The analog version of this was when I was living in Fort Worth, TX in the 1980s, during peak 55. The guy driving the 1984 Vette was always in the left lane going about 54 mph so as not to get caaaaught (I guess). I used to speed around people like that, jump in the left lane, briefly tap the brakes and move on. Of course, the asshole wouldn’t move. I was either driving a Corolla, a Mazda GLC or a ratted out Civic, running circles around them. We are headed to something way worse, if we can’t stop it. I don’t know how Europeans put up with that crap. They must have good computer hackers there. I can’t imagine driving at their stall-speed legal maximums.

  15. Truckers are already under the thumb of federal fiats. They can only drive so many hours until mandatory rests. E-logging has taken away the ability to cheat the system. Are they after car drivers next? Limits on speed, limits on miles, limits on how long you can drive at any one time?

    But, but, but Mike you don’t care about saaaaafeeetyyyyy!

  16. Ford’s futility is manufacturing 34,000 electric vehicles and is realizing a loss of 37,000 dollars each, that computes to a 1,258,000,000 dollars loss.

    37 times 34 equals 1258. 1258 times 1,000,000 equals 1,258,000,000. It’s an exercise in futility. Has to be hitting home already.

    Henry must be shaking his head.

      • An Aztek is a more useful vehicle than an EV. Wasn’t the engine/transmission solid?

        Someone who lives around me uses one as a daily driver, customized to look *exactly* like the vehicle on “Breaking Bad”, right down to the parking lot stickers on the rear window.

        I’ll bet that vehicle is still rolling around when all of the leased Teslas around here are long gone.

        • Indeed, Roscoe –

          The Aztek was merely ugly; it wasn’t (functionally) a bad vehicle at all. And – as you have noted – superior to an EV in every way except how quickly it could get to 60.

  17. All these controls on a car are just another one of many steps to take the car from being considered a part of the family to being regarded no different than a dryer. Only tears are at the cost of it’s replacement and not the family memories tied with it’s ownership.

    I looked at buying a used Chevette back in the 80’s but I found it a little on the small side but it did look very easy to work on. That said I would rather own a Chevette over a Tesla because it won’t nag or record your driving style and as Car Craft magazine showed a 500 CI Cadillac engine can be made to fit in one.

    My summer daily driver is not the fastest car out there and would never win a heads up drag race but it’s peppy and makes the appropriate vroom vroom sounds so it’s a keeper.

    PS- Is it just me or is that a bullet hole in the sign with the turtle on it?

    • My father owned a chevette….he didn’t like cars…no interest….he usually bought small pickup trucks which are useful….the chevette’s floor rusted through…he just riveted a piece of sheet metal over the floor and kept it going….lol….

  18. The first time they implement speed control sales will plummet. I cant think of anything more frustrating to drive than a car that wont let you accelerate. I bought a car recently and immediately turned off the oh so helpful speed limit indicator, which constantly flashed since apparently Im always speeding, lane keep assist, braking assist, parking assists (my sister asked why the car was constantly beeping, chiming and nagging). If i could turn off the seatbelt nanny I would.

    • Hi RS, just get one of those seat belt extenders fat people use and your good to go or follow the wire from the seat belt buckle and see if it is an open, closed or has resistance when your buckled up and duplicate that and you should be good to go. The only downside would be if the airbags operated differently with you buckled or unbuckled.

      • In the 1990’s they did a test. If you were buckled, your chances of a fatal accident was 40 percent lower than if unbelted. Buckled with an airbag was 46 percent lower. Unbuckled with an airbag was about in the middle. Now, I don’t know the effect of changing the speed of airbag deployment. I’ll have to review the numbers again.

        • That test doesn’t account for the people killed because of seat belts….burned to death or drowned because trapped by the seat belt…… and airbags….old defective airbag blew up in their face….killed or injured….

          in an EV….you are better off being thrown clear….you miss the inferno of the lithium firebomb battery…lol

    • > I cant think of anything more frustrating to drive than a car that wont let you accelerate.

      Not just frustrating, but actually unsafe. Sometimes you need to punch it to get out of the way of trouble. The first time someone gets killed because he couldn’t, whoever built that car will be raked over the coals in court…if there’s any actual justice in this world. (No longer a safe assumption, unfortunately…but one can dream, right?)

  19. I’m sure there’s a data base that gives a running count of how many cars on the road are capable of remote controlled speed. As soon as that count reaches a predetermined tipping point, it will be enabled. Makes one almost wish for a major economical disaster, to keep it from ever happening. Looks like we will get one, especially in the car market.

    • Everything is tracked by VIN. You can tell how that type of thing would be fixed. I wonder if the hacking business will begin booming like never before. To think that in 1974, there was a consumer revolt over the seatbelt interlock and now, barely a peep from anyone in or outside the industry is more telling than anything. I guess drivers are happy as long as the cars don’t accelerate like a Chevy Chevette. Doesn’t take much to keep the rubes under control.

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