You can safely bet that when a car company or dealer offers a lease deal that can’t possibly earn a profit on the transaction the object isn’t so much to make a profit as to stem the losses.
How about just $249 per month – with zero percent interest! – on a brand-new Charger? The catch, of course, is that it’s a device made to look like a Charger. One that needs a charge, in other words. Another catch is that you can’t accrue more than 7,500 miles per year during the two year lease term, which means you’re not just limited by the device’s range.
This is supposed to “attract muscle customers to the EV life,” according to Jalopnik – a site that is probably among those on the USAID payroll, as evidenced by that line. Attracting “muscle customers” to the “EV life” is as preposterous a thing to assert as a possibility as asserting that straight men can be attracted to an alternative lifestyle. “Muscle customers” do not want devices anymore than straight men want other men. Put another way, a muscle car without an engine is like a “woman” without those parts . . . but with other parts.
It’s not going to sell.
Hence the fire-sale.
The base price of a new Charger device is $57,995 (for reference, the last Charger that wasn’t a device, the 2023 model, stickered for $33,200 – so Dodge expects people to pay nearly twice as much for the new device). If one were to break that price down over a six-year loan that assumed zero percent interest, the monthly payment would have to be in the neighborhood of $800.
How then can Dodge afford to lease the device for $249 per month?
The answer is obvious. It can’t. But something has to be done to move these devices off of dealers’ lots. The latter are already “knocking tens of thousands off MSRP” to get rid of them. More finely, to get them off their books as well as their lots. Once sold – or leased – the loss is no longer the dealer’s problem, except for the problem of not having made any money off the deal.
There’s more to be lost, too.
Devices depreciate much harder than vehicles do – to the tune of 30 percent more over a couple of years’ time. Thus, that $58k device leased today will likely have a residual value of 30 percent less than that – or just $41,000 after just 24 months. Normally, that cost would be folded into the cost of the lease, but in the case of devices that is hard to do because then they become an even harder sell.
Or lease, as the case might be.
This lease includes another cost. The severe mileage limitation – just 7,500 annually – means the device can only be driven about 625 miles per month. That works out to about 20 miles per day, which isn’t very much range – even if you have enough charge to go farther.
This range limit makes sense, though – in the sense that racking up a lot of miles on a device is not good for the device. It means a lot of discharge/charge cycles and that means a faster-weakening battery that loses it charge capacity faster and that means having to buy a new one sooner in order to recover that capacity – or try selling the thing with a diminished-capacity battery. Either way, it’s like trying to sell an old beater with a smoking engine and a slipping transmission – except for the difference that the old beater might be worth fixing. Not just because the cost of a rebuilt engine/transmission is perhaps worth the expense relative to the value of the vehicle but because once rebuilt, the vehicle will probably be effectively as good as new and good for another 15-20 years of service.
Even with a brand-new second battery, a used device will probably need another one long before that – especially if the device is used regularly and its battery pack is subjected to regular discharge/recharge cycling, which is what inevitably wears out a battery in any device.
Dodge dealers know all about it, of course. But what matters to them is not how fast these devices depreciate but how fast they can get rid of them. The longer they sit, the less they’re “worth,” if you want to use that word.
Hence the fire-sale leasing (and pricing).
The fact that Dodge – the company – is already having to resort to these measures is an early measure of the magnitude of the disaster that is unfolding as a result of the decision to almost double the price of the device relative to the price of the vehicle that carried the same name – and to replace that vehicle with a device in the first place.
Did Dodge – the people in charge – really not understand the mindset of people who bought (past tense now) Dodge vehicles? Did Dodge actually believe they could purvey motors to people who crave engines?
Apparently so.
And now – having sown the wind – comes the whirlwind. If the device called Charger flops – and all indications are that it already has – then it is hard to see how Dodge survives.
But there is a way to avoid the train wreck that’s already in process. It is to cut bait (and losses) on the device and turn it into a vehicle. One with a V8 engine, too. Not – as they say – that there is anything wrong with the new inline turbo six Dodge plans to offer as an EV-out that would make the Charger a vehicle, at least, rather than a device. But that is not the critical thing.
For Dodge to be Dodge again, it must offer something to “attract muscle customers” and that means a V8, not an inline six. The Charger must be a muscle car as much as it must not be a device and the only way to make it so is to put a Hemi back in the thing. Then get the price of the thing down, by nixing cost-adding options that had become cost-padding standards. Make it affordable again. It would sell, again.
And then it would not necessary to fire-sale lease devices.
. . .
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The sentence “bringing muscle-customers to the EV life” is only something an affluent, white, childless, extremely privileged, and well-connected (and bought) corporate liberal would ever think of uttering.
Amen, Logan –
It really sticks in the craw. For me especially because I am, after all, a car writer and it appalls me to come across that sort of thing because it reveals stupefying ignorance regarding the subject at hand. One used to have to know a little about cars – the culture, the history – in order to be able to make a living writing about them. Not anymore.
In other EV news…would you believe a Porsche worth nothing?
https://tinyurl.com/4hwk9bzm
Even $249/monthly is to rich for me…
But at $24.90/mo???
Or $2.49???
I’m in, like Victory Gin!!!
YMMV…
The hurricane I6 is an equally large disaster. For the billions they spent developing it they could have spent that money on a modern dohc turbo v8 that could please everyone with various tunes and get the same mpg as the 6 cylinder. The only vehicles that can fit a giant/ long straight 6 used to have v8s and most people won’t accept less. The only mopars that people wouldn’t care about motors like jeeps and fwd stuff can’t fit a long straight 6. It’s a motor that pisses off those it’s forced on and unavailable to those who would want it, zero market research from the French took place here.
Well-said, Snakecharmer –
I also can’t fathom their thinking in re nearly doubling the MSRP of the device – vs. the Charger. Leaving aside the “electrification” stuff, did they think adding $25k-plus to the price would sell?
It’s not just the Charger with the huge price tags. It’s their whole line up that is severely overpriced. Dealers have plenty of upper trims of every model to making it even worse. At least they could get the entry level models on their lots, but yeah, they don’t.
In some cases they could half the price and it’s STILL overpriced. The fact that the Hornet can get to 40k is so crazy and stupid. It should be about 13k and top out at 20k. It would sell in the teens, not the 30’s……..
Ugh. This is akin to going on a date with a hot woman only to find out she is merely a chick with a dick. How about the real thing on both accounts?
Advice from the incendiary essayist Andrew Anglin on how to become a great writer (or at least a paperback writer):
‘I’m working on other things, including an autobiography of Elvis. You heard that right. I’m writing an Elvis biography in the first person, which in the canon of my lore, he finishes while sitting on the toilet and dying.
‘It’s going to be really cruel to Priscilla, who truly is the villain of that story. I will publish it without permission from the family, because what are they going to do, sue me? I wish them luck. I’m sure that will be incredibly profitable for them.
‘It’s going to be sort of like that George Saunders Lincoln book that I forget the name of, except not pretentious tripe. Actually, I’m still deciding if it is going to be pretentious tripe.
‘I have to continue my correspondence with the New York Times Book Review before making a final decision on levels of pretentiousness and the tripe metrics. If I’m just going to be blacklisted, I have no reason for pretentiousness or tripeiness, but if they’re going to blow up my sales and make people believe I’m smart, I have to side with their wisdom.’
It’s a thousand pages, give or take a few
I’ll be writing more in a week or two
I could make it longer if you like the style
I can change it ’round
And I wanna be a paperback writer
Paperback writer
— The Beatles, Paperback Writer (1966)
Please Sir, may I have some more displacement?
More?
How depressing. When I first saw the picture of the car, I thought, Is Toyoda trying to “retro” the Supra into something that actually looks good, OR, is Nissan making a last gasp to REALLY make a modern , nice looking 240Z? Nope, just another fake and gay electrotoy nobody is interested in. Hello Hertz…..
BTW one of the funniest comments i’ve read about this car “finally – a Charger that wont get stolen”
Morning, Nasir!
That’s the best line I’ve heard so far today. A great one! Because true. Who wants one of these things? I’d have believed in God if Dodge had given me a Hellcat Widebody to “test drive” for the next 20 years… but this golem-thing? I have zero interest in it, irrespective of what it costs. Dodge ought to think about that – because I’m exactly the kind of guy they are trying to sell to. And we’re not interested in devices. No matter the fake sounds they emit.
Eric – have you seen how they have made the engine noise on this thing – Talk about “fake and gay”
a lot like the TOTALLY fake and gay exhausts on beemers and bentwipes…
I remember when Jalopnik was about automobiles. Now its basically reddit.
That flexibility could really come in handy, as you’ve no doubt experienced when you used it sodomize yourself.
lol
Oooppss! That comment was originally posted to the “work-at-home” spammer (“Working at home allows for great flexibility”). I guess when the spammer’s comment got deleted, mine moved up!
“You will own nothing…..”
Payments forever, while maintaining and insuring and paying taxes on someone else’s vehicle, and then getting to pay several grand after a few years when you turn it in, for “wear and tear”. Then begin the process all over again. No residual value to salvage (Even more so with a device!). Just endless rent and charges.
Rent a place to live.
Rent something to drive.
Rent people and a space to raise your kids.
Rent medical care (Whether you need it or not…it’s called mandated “insurance”)
Rent a TV.
What does a society that has no equity or attachment to anything become? A society that pays bills, taxes and interest? A society in which there is no prode of ownership? A society which has no cares about looking out for it’s own financial interests, other than paying endless bills and keeping the money flowing?A society whose only concern is whether to pick the red or black shiny thing to use for now?
It becomes a society of irresponsible vagabond slaves who spend their lives performing for a carrot on a stick.
This is quite contrast from the way it used to be, when responsible people would save-up and then buy something, and expect it to last a long time and give them good service, and end up with something down the road to pass-on, sell, or use up without further cost.
We’ve gone from that, to “if it breaks, just throw it out and buy another one”; and now we are going from THAT to “just rent it forever”.
Nailed it!
They should call the device version of the Charger something else. I think “Chargee” would be appropriate.
If the manufactures started making real cars with real engines, just check out what happened to some CEOs just fudging the numbers a tiny bit. Search “vw ceo jail” or ” auto manufactures jail”.
The CEOs are not the ones that we need to punished.
Like it or not, Those needing punished are in our ‘elected’ governments. Entire Biden administration gang and half or more of the bought off legislature. They’ll never see the inside of a prison. As for Trumpo? He’ll likely just trim the CAFE standards a little for his devoted acolytes.
I really like the styling and profile of the Charger shown in the picture. If it had a HEMI I would consider a purchase.
I agree, good compromise of late 60’s early 70’s chargers vs modern looks. I would only buy with a v8 as well.
Owned a ’18 300 v8 rwd and while a little dated, it was a great car for 40K, enjoyed it.
But in the NE, got hammered on trade cause no one wants rwd, scaredy cats.
“Jalopnik – a site that is probably among those on the USAID payroll. . .”
Ain’t that the truth! The CIA manufacturing consent.
Wow has that site gone downhill. I used to read it many years ago as they had decent car and motorcycle articles. Now they have politics galore and an article telling you to trade in your Telsa because Elon “descended into Fascism”. This after years of telling their readers to buy one to save the planet no doubt. A lot of loony screeching and coping going on over there. Ha.
With this demented push for EVs the past few years, corporate media has been running a narrative that EV sales were SURGING. However, if that were actually the case, dealerships wouldn’t be needing to do stuff like what’s talked about in the above post.
If Dodge actually succeeds in getting people to lease these Charger EVs with that low monthly payment, what are the odds that corporate media will also claim that Charger EV sales are surging, while at the same time they’re running stories about Teslas just sitting on dealership lots or being abandoned someplace, claiming that it’s because Elon Musk decided to join the Trump administration.
“Surging” is a phrase to put statistical lipstick on pigs. When the real numbers are parsed it often means sales bumped from 3,000 to 6,000 devices while still making up a very small (single digit) proportion of total sales. In the meantime, the hypesters get to shout from the mountain tops that “sales are surging as (device co here) doubled EV sales over last year!”
“attract muscle customers to the EV life” — Jalopnik, quoted by eric
Just as electric scooters like the Harley LiveWire attracted gender-ambivalent incels to the gay biker life. Free crotch tattoo upon lease signing! Don’t miss this one-time offer.
Jalopnik presstitute Lawrence Hodge of course was just hyping and retyping a Stellantis press release. He came up with that dazzling, hilarious line ‘muscle customers to the EV life’ after a late night working the glory hole at a biker bar.
I’ll show you the dark side of the EeeVee life in a handful of dust.
‘Once Lawrence’s mother was actually detained by a Chrysler dealership — and then she sued them for false imprisonment and breaching their own contract, and she won $25,000 for her trouble.’
https://www.jalopnik.com/author/lhodge/
Just a little misunderstanding over an adult film being shot in the customer waiting room. She thought it was a one-on-one … but turned out she had to take on the whole F&I staff.
249 times 12 is 2,988 dollars.
7500/3000=2.5
Isn’t that two and one-half dollars per mile?
How you gonna get sunshine
Peaking through Venetian blinds
Don’t you know that all that fear
Begins and ends the same place as here – John Prine, Way Down
That don’t maff out.
It’s $3000 / 7,500 miles, or $0.40 per mile.
You caught first, thanks.
You caught it first.
I can remember the formulas for volumes of spheres and cylinders, but have problems in numerator and denominator determinations at times.
Maff dyslexia, I dunno.
I think I got it bassackwards, 3000/7500=0.40 or 40 cents per mile.
Sometimes, the math is all wrong just by using the wrong denominator and numerator.
The numbers are correct, the maff is incorrect. Can’t always be in the know, takes time to learn.
I never went for leasing because you’re left with nothing at the end of the lease. On top of that, you can’t drive too far lest you get hit with excess mileage fees…which are conveniently overlooked if you decide to lease again. Plus, the car is yours to pay for, but not yours to do what you want to with it.
Agree Bryce, plus on top of all that you have to maintain full collision/comprehensive coverage from the insurance mafia for the entire time of the lease.
20 miles a day. So a commuter car then. Once again, that $249 lease price doesn’t include the cost of registration, installing a high current charging pod at home, insurance (and the inevitable increase in your homeowners insurance when they find out you have a lithium bomb in the garage), the cost of tires every 15K miles.
If they really want these things to sell, make ’em cost effective (from a total cost of ownership) as second cars. We’re constantly told how wonderful it is that we have intermittent power generation sources (wind and solar) on the power grid because every little bit helps reduce greenhouse gasses. Yet when an intermittent alternative is presented to consumers (plug-in hybrids too), it’s considered useless. Nice double standard.
The devices could be stripped down & repurposed as golf cart. 20 miles a day would equate to 4-5 18-hole rounds.
Can you imagine the ruts a 6000 lb BEV would leave on a golf course? No, they’re not even good for that.
Point taken. But the speakers could blast a classic Hemi “vroom vroom”.
I can easily do 20 miles a day on my bicycle. Why would I want to pay anything for an EV that I can only do that with> (And considering charging time and all, the bicycle would probably turn out to be a lot faster). I guess that’s the next logical step: To get everyone riding bicycles instead of driving, and then license the practice; and then tax them because the CO2 they emit is “destroying the planet” (But it’s O-K as long as you give the overlords money for the privilege)
You’re a good thinker. Everyone should just ride a bike. That will solve all the problems in the world due to cars.
Don’t give the overlords any more ideas or encouragement.
From what I’m hearing about the Charger is that when they put the car into “shipping mode” to ship it off to the dealer it arrives bricked and apparently they are having problems getting it to run afterwords.
It looks OK though, perhaps they can sell them as Garage Queens or urban chicken coops?
“apparently they are having problems getting it to run afterwords”
..run
That’s funny!
Grammar: my final frontier……….
I heard that Ford is coming out with a new electric “truck” that looks just like the F150. It has 0 miles range. It is just intended to be parked and then burst into flames. It’s called the Jewish Lightning.
Why is an “EV muscle car” even necessary?
Needing one of these due to a “climate emergency” is akin to being lost at sea and declining being rescued by a fishing trawler – while you wait instead for a cigarette boat.
That was brilliant, Flip – post o’ the day!
No, no! Forcing everyone to drive even heavier vehicles really will “save the planet”, it really will! For good measure, add in the inefficiency or electric generating, and that of the foibles of batteries that lose charge just from sitting, and from the cold, and the hot weather, and how could ya go wrong? I guess we don’t “get it” because we’re ignorant rubes and not on the government’s payroll, but there’s a whole slew of government scientists and academics and rent-seekers and communists who say it’ll work just fine, dontchaknow? (And they’ve been so clever when it comes to all of their other endeavors, like what caused the WTC to impode, and “the pandemic”. Methinks you are not drinking enough Victory gin!