The Anodyne Exotic

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The most powerful – and boring – Corvette ever made is coming soon. It is an iteration of the current generic-exotic Corvette, with its engine turbocharged to make in excess of 1,000 horsepower to make up for the personality it lacks.

This is true of all the current exotics – which are all more powerful than the exotics that preceded them that had other things going for them, such as beauty. A Lamborghini Miura, for instance, is so beautiful  that who cares how much power it has? It is art as much as a car. The same is true of Ferraris made before all that mattered was how much power they had and how quickly they could go from 0-60 or lap the Nurburgring.

And Corvettes, too – once upon a time.

Horsepower is one dimensional. Statistics are ephemeral. The car that bases its appeal on how much power its engine (or electric motors) put down or how quickly it accelerates is a hero for just so long as it’s the most powerful – or the quickest. That never lasts.

But beauty does.

Let your eyes wander over the shape of a ’67 Corvette – or the one that succeeded it in 1968, arguably even more stunning, if such a thing is possible. What’s certain is that car looked so fine it was unnecessary to change how it looked – fundamentally – for the next 14 years, all the way through to 1982.

The Corvettes made after 1972 were less and less powerful with each new model year, as the federal regulatory apparat corked the Chevy’s V8s to the point that, by the mid-late ’70s, the Corvette’s standard 350 cubic inch V8 (as engines were delineated back when America was different from Europe) was struggling to put down more than 200 horsepower and get to 60 in less than 8 seconds. It didn’t matter – because the car was still beautiful. It was also identifiable.

It was a Corvette – and everyone immediately knew what it was. It didn’t need a badge. All it took was a look.

It is much more difficult to know what the current Corvette is, until you get close enough to read the label. From 20 or 30 yards out, it could be a Ferrari or maybe a Lamborghini. And either of them could just as easily pass for a current Corvette. They all have the same arachnid-emulating angularity, lacking the curves that have gone out-of-style like women who know they aren’t men and don’t want to look (or act like) like them, either.

So, instead of looks – and to make up for the personality that’s absent – the current Corvette and its exotic-car competitors try to outdo each other by the numbers. This one has 600 horsepower? That’s nothing! Check out the new one. It has 700 – or even 1,000. Eventually – and we’re not far from there – we will arrive at the reductio ad absurdum of this one-dimensional one-upmanship. They’ll all have 1,000-plus horsepower – which is probably close to the practical limit of what can be done with that much power. Getting to 60 much more quickly than 2.9 seconds or so is probably not possible, no matter how much more power is available.

But let’s say physical limitations could be overcome somehow and our hypothetical hypercar could get to 60 instantly. That would be something, the first time. It would quickly become common – and then as boring as not moving at all.

Meanwhile, those Corvettes that were made when there was no mistaking what they were – even if they weren’t very fast. They didn’t need to be. Beautiful things are their own justification – and that’s what’s been lost along the way.

Now it’s just a numbers game.

The same has happened, by the way, to two-wheeled Corvettes. Motorcycles. Not all – thank God – but the fast ones for sure. How do you tell a 1,000 cc Honda sport bike from a 1,000 cc Kawasaki sport bike? One’s covered in red plastic, the other in green. If it’s covered in blue plastic then it’s a Suzuki. They’re all almost unbelievably quick – pushing the limits of quickness (as well as usable horsepower) just like the 1,000-plus horsepower Corvette. And – just like the 1,000-plus horsepower Corvette – they are tools, nothing more.

When a more effective tool comes along (though at this point it will only be incrementally more effective; see that point already made about horsepower and performance having reached or nearly reached a functional zenith) the old tool loses its appeal because that’s all the appeal it had.

I have a couple of old sport bikes that were made back when horsepower and quickness were certainly part of the appeal. But they were also appealing because of what they were – and still are. My ’76 Kz900 is beautiful to look at – and does not look like a Honda or a Suzuki (and they for their part did not look like Kaws). I also have a ’75 Kaw S1 two-stroke triple – and that thing looks like nothing else.

Nor does anything else sound like it.

Not surprisingly, both increase in value each year and are worth more today than they cost when they were new. Same goes for my ’76 Trans-Am, which appeals for so many reasons that transcend how powerful or quick it is.

This is why there are events where people who own cars and bikes made when horsepower (and quickness) weren’t all there was to them get together to admire them. That is not likely not happen with cars like the 1,000-plus horsepower Corvette, no matter how quickly it gets to 60 or runs the Ring.

Because there’s not much to see there.

. . .

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30 COMMENTS

  1. I was trying to analyze why I don’t care about Corvettes anymore, after loving them for most of my life. It’s that they’ve removed all engagement with the car. I’m a big, big, manual transmission fan. To the point that when I was young, I got a deals on a couple of different cars that were automatics, and swapped them over to manuals. So the loss of the manual is a big thing, but it’s more than that. The car imposes guardrails on what you can do to keep you from getting outside of the lines. It won’t let you make a mistake, which means there is no need to acquire any skill to drive it rewardingly. It’s a video game. And ultimately, it does so much on it’s own, that it’s a car that doesn’t really need me.

  2. I drove one of the Z06s and I wasn’t impressed. The nannies constantly intervene if you don’t switch them off (have to do that every time you get in the car) and the visibility isn’t the best, a product of the mid-engine layout which I believe was a mistake.

    The flat-plane crank V-8 sounds great, but with no manual transmission, you’re not left with much to do as a driver. The interior is excellent too, but still, not having a manual transmission is a gigantic faux pas in an alleged sports car.

    The styling is insectoid, garden-variety exotic. It’s ok but not very memorable. It is borne from the wind tunnel, which is great if you are going 200 mph, but not so much if you want a pleasing shape (even though I think the aerodynamic Lexus SC 300/400 coupes were some of the prettiest cars ever built by Japan).

    I appreciate that my Toyota Supra will not outrun one of these vehicles engineered to lap the Nurburgring in a record time, even if I cranked up the boost to a dangerous level. I also appreciate that my car doesn’t suffer fools gladly and won’t save you from being an idiot. I also appreciate that I can row my own gears and the 2JZ sounds marvelous with no fakery. And if I park a Mk. IV at a Cars and Coffee next to a couple of these C8s, which car do you think people want to pose beside it?

  3. I have a laptop that has satellite service, I can reach EP Autos with the cellphone service. I go to the internet connection, no EP Autos. I suspect the cellphone company is blocking websites so you go to their services. A cut throat tactic.

    Either that, or the internet provider is blocking the connection.

    JFYI

    Might be a hack of some kind too, can’t rule anything out.

      • Small, light sports cars are great…and are almost gone now…

        If I had unlimited money I would look for a Lancia Beta Monte Carlo Group 5 sports car….it is sort of like a track version of the famous Lancia 037 world rally championship winning car….

        The Lancia Beta Monte Carlo Group 5 sports car weighed 1700 lb and had from….. 400 HP…1.5 liter Turbo…. to 525 HP..1.8 liter twin Turbo…. from their Lampredi 4 cylinder engine…

        The Lancia 037 WRC winner…the last RWD car to win the championship….had a supercharged 325 HP 2 liter Lampredi engine….

        The Lancia Beta Monte Carlo Group 5 sports car sometimes beat the famous, dominant, Porsche 935 K3 race car…the 935 K3 weighed 2300 lb and had 800 HP….

        The famous Lampredi 4 cyl twin cam hemi (there was also a single cam version)

        Ferrari engine designer designed engine in your Fiat/Lancia, etc

        Lampredi (the famous Ferrari engine designer) who later worked for Fiat Lancia designed the twin overhead cam 8 valve hemi (later on 16 valve) 4 cylinder, which powered Fiat, Lancia, Lotus 7, Morgan, Alfa Romeo, etc., He ran Abarth.
        it powered more World Rally championship winners then any other engine.
        One of the best race car engines in history.
        One of the best 4 cyl engines in history.

        The Lampredi engine was in the Lancia 037, Lancia Delta S4 and Lancia Delta Integrale, with turbo and super charger…in the S4….. the engine put out up to 1000 hp, in race trim 600 hp.

  4. The new Covette is a big heavy car, so now you need 1000 HP to make it move….Curb Weight: 3666 lb….too heavy…so it will not have the quickest lap times….the quickest cars are all under 1800 LB…..

    Daily driver street cars make poor race cars….race cars make poor street cars…this is sort of a quick GT car…more for long trip, freeway driving….but…can be tracked….not the most comfortable GT car….a compromise…

    This isn’t a pure driver’s car….no stick shift, computers drive the car not the driver, an isolated driving experience, very big and heavy…not ideal for narrow winding roads….very big and heavy…less agile….makes it hard to change direction quickly….

    The NA version sounds better…turbos don’t sound as good….

    • Chevrolet Camaro 650 HP ZL1 1LE…with 10 speed automatic on the Nurburgring…..

      The transmission over heated….The new 1000 HP Corvette uses the same transmission….

      From the comments…

      ZL’s with a 10 speed automatic get hot at the track. Forum’s say that the biggest culprit is actual the engine oil getting to 300F. The engine, trans, differential share the engine coolant, so, if the engine gets super hot, it’s heating your coolant, which is reducing its capacity to chill the ATF, in turn. Add an auxiliary engine oil cooler.
      Similarly, don’t turn on the heat in the cabin, because, you’ll just be adding more heat to the coolant thru the heater core, instead turn on the A/C to try to chill the coolant passing thru the cabin.
      GM says to change the ATF every 15 track hours, and changed the check requirements, for the 2020+ models, check the ATF at 172 F instead of previously 212 F. Some argue that over fill ATF is causing issues, however, don’t bleed the ATF when it’s hot or it’ll risk being too low on ATF.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCiT5TcqeI4

  5. First thing that came to my mind ….brought up here on many occasions……is the cost of the new Zr1, and for that matter the base C8 Vette. My car enthusiast nephew, who is a professional, makes a good salary, and owns a modest house, was very excited to hear about the new ZR1. He asked me many things about it since I’m on the “inside’ here at the lower case car company. What’s a damn shame is he’ll probably not ever to be able to afford one. Even used. If this was the 60’s and 70’s during the prime muscle car era he would easily be able to roll down to the Chevy dealer and buy a new L88 or LT1 Vette. Probably buy both used. That’s the tragedy of 2024 Livin In The USA.

  6. One could build a shitbox to have 1000hp, it’s still a shitbox at the end of the day. We want soul, character & art, one needs the whole package.

    Like the motorcycles, it’s also the same with Crossovers; “Which flavor of boring do you like?”. Also why you’d see a lot of challengers, even if they were the base v6 with awd, they were a whole presentation, a whole vibe.

    Also, great, 1000hp Corvette, but it’s not stick, and probably a handful of owners are gonna track them, rest will have garage queens. Eventually manufacturers need to get away from #’s and just create art with soul, let the chips fall where they may afterwards

  7. I like Camaros better, limited market for a Corvette, only so many buyers there. Gotta want one bad, have to keep up with the jonesin’.

    You wake up and have a cup of coffee, then off to the bar, well, no, not that, to the big mega store for some more stuff.

    You might stop at the bank and rob them of your hard earned cash, money talks.

    You have to sleep, if you don’t, you’ll become useless in no time.

    Still have to work like a dog. You have to ignore DST too.

  8. “ Even the engines used to be works of art. Now they look like Borg Cubes “

    My 2018 Road King Harley still has a beautiful V twin engine in silver and wrinkle black with chrome rocker box covers. However, the EPA compliant air cleaner covered up way too much of those glorious cylinders. Looked like some Star Trek cast off part from the Enterprise. Sparkey pitched that in the first week for an old school small round exposed element air cleaner with a plain round chrome cap.

    Yea I put up with the Harley annoyances but that bike is SO much fun to ride. This latest engine with 4 valves per cylinder was great without retuning. Instant throttle response with that V twin torque. People can bad mouth Harley all they want but there are many ridden many miles with no major issues. Comfort for a 69 year old is great – hammock seat, highway pegs, windshield I’m good for an all day enjoyable ride.

    Numbers don’t equal fun!

  9. Yes, we are living through the era of crap. Ugly, cheap, overpriced crap. Motorcycles that hide their motor. Cars built to be only hot for a few months, separating fools from money they don’t have.

    This is why hot rods and rat rods appeal. I built it, it’s mine. There’s nothing else on the road like it, and you can’t borrow funny money and buy it unless I choose to sell it. I personally build stuff titled before 1964, avoiding not only the nanny electronics, but the seat belts and the catalytic converters.

    A well dressed flathead V8 isn’t necessarily fast, but it’s plenty fast enough to move the soul.

    Modern cars, even the vette, don’t move the soul.

  10. The numbers don’t lie, but they don’t say anything either.

    Checkbox design. Comes from staring at spreadsheets all day and obsessing with your competitor instead of letting your engineers and design team produce what they think the public might enjoy.

    The downside of management by the numbers that’s become prevalent in US corporations. People who are good in a clinch or are able to fix the unfixable aren’t worth anything if they don’t meet whatever metric is required by upper management. Harley Earl probably had no idea what the drag coefficient of the Y-Job was, nor did he care. He wanted a car that looked good at the curb. But you can’t measure looks until the thing is on the showroom floor and the numbers come back. This is why the Jeep Wrangler continues to sell yet the Aztec was a complete failure. The Wrangler is a POS vehicle, really. But there are fanatical owners who keep the thing alive on sheer sales volume.

  11. ‘Let’s say physical limitations could be overcome somehow and our hypothetical hypercar could get to 60 instantly.’ — eric

    That would be fatal. Rocket sled testing has established human g-force limits, which depend upon exposure time. Roger Stapp withstood 46.2 g. But others died at lower levels.

    For a hypercar whose only killer app is rapid straight-line acceleration, 5 g would be a reasonable saaaaaaafe limit. We can solve for the 0 to 60 time at 5g, using the familiar v=at equation, where v = 88 ft/sec (60 mph), a = 5g = 161 ft/sec². Then t = 0.55 sec.

    Practically speaking, hypercar makers can shoot for 0 to 60 mph on one second flat. Available traction probably renders this goal impossible without rocket assist.

  12. There’s always the ’25 E-Ray ‘Vette. it’ll only set you back $110K+. It’s unclear if the electronic “vroom vroom” and associated speaker system thing is standard or comes with a specific trim level.

    • Desperate for profitable subscription features, GM can offer custom vroom-vroom sound tracks, like custom ring tones.

      I’d like my E-Ray to simulate the squeak-squeak of a hamster wheel, with a ferocious ‘barking gerbil’ roar when the pedal is pressed hard.

      HA HA HA … effing clowns.

  13. What I also find amazing about the cars of that era is how accessible they were by anyone really who wanted one….
    Today cant imagine anyone picking up a modern sports / fun car without making a major financial commitment. Even those at the top have to think many times before getting one!

    • This could have been the Monza with a proper C8 being Front engined

      Remember, we got Mary Bara who daydreams about being on Sex in the city and a bunch of other DIE hires ru(i)nning the show at Govt Motors, so whatcha expect?

    • Hi Mr Liberty,

      To answer your question, for over fifty years, chevy was deluged with demands from their “enthusiast” customers to make a mid engine vette. Just like the “European” high performance sports cars. So they finally did it. And now, they are again deluged with complaints. “Too expensive. Crowded inside. Poor rear view. Looks like the others.”

      And there’s no way GM can afford to offer the vette in two totally different configurations. Be careful about giving the people what they “say” they want. 😉

  14. Last week while out in one of my old cars I was beside one of those plastic clad sport bikes. I’m guessing it was a 650 with a big muffler. Even when the rider pulled away you could barely hear it! Heck my weed wacker is louder than that bike was and with a nicer exhaust note as a bonus.

    Sad how now even exhaust systems are so quiet you might as well be riding a bicycle.

  15. Who would look and point at an engine that puts out 1,000hp and is covered with a cheap, plastic lid with logo? Even the engines used to be works of art. Now they look like Borg Cubes with all the hoses and piping covering the electronic ignition, throttle and fuel delivery.

    Meanwhile the exteriors look like a kids’ “transformer” from the 80’s.

    Google Talbot Lago or art deco cars. Admire the lines of a Dino 246GT or any 50’s Jaguar. Even the 50’s and 60’s American models had style, albeit a tad garish in comparison. But, they had some personality.

    Perhaps this trend can be summed up in one car, the Lamborghini Countach. The original design was so clean it looked like it was slipping through the air while standing still. It devolved into a winged monstrosity with plastic cladding. It looked like something that would appeal to a 5 year old looking at toys in a Dollar General.

    • I saw one of the first years of production, Lamborghini Countach in a parking lot in the late 70s. Bright yellow, no wings or plastic bumpers. It was a thing of absolute beauty.

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