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Valentine One Radar Detector

swamprat
07-25-2008, 06:03 PM
OK, I know that's redundant, but I had an experience
yesterday I'm proud of so I wanted to pass this along.

Background: there's something about my Ford Excursion
that really sets off Prius owners (well, it sets off a
LOT of small-car smuggies, but Prius owners seem to be
the worst). I can't seem to fill up that 44-gallon
diesel tank next to one without SOME comment from them
(you can actually see it in their faces as they boil
up the courage to say something. Like the time one guy
made a disparaging comment, and I replied - all sweet
and nice-like - "Oh, sure, I used to have a Prius for
a short while, but my 10,000-pound trailer made the
bumper scrape on the ground so I had to sell it...")

ANYWAY, yesterday I was on the highway, coming home
from moving the race car to the shop, and I came upon
this massive rolling blockage on the highway. The
answer was obvious: someone or someones up front was
driving slow in the fast lane, right next to someone
else (usually a truck), and the right lane was
unavailable due to entering and exiting traffic. A
common problem in CT. So, I slowly and carefully
worked my way through the traffic, using whatever
lanes necessary, 'cause it's obvious the blockage
wasn't going to clear itself out. I eventually made it
to the front of the queue to find a red Toyota Prius
cruising 55-ish in the left lane (65 mph), right next
to a local delivery truck in the middle lane. I took
advantage of a right-lane opening and, without being a
jerk, was on my way.

As I hit my home exit I stopped at the gas station to
drop a few gallons of diesel (i.e., a lot of money) in
the tank. As I started pumping, who should come and
fillup across the island from me but my buddy, the red
Prius driver! As he looked up from his Prius to me
sitting in the truck, I could see the sneer starting
to load up. As he placed the fuel nozzle in his car I
was mentally counting down: "5, 4, 3, 2, 1" and right
then he mumbled a comment, loud enough to hear but not
loud enough for me to understand.

This happens to me so many times now that I usually
ignore it. But today was a different matter: not only
had he given me the attitude, but he was blocking
highway traffic at the same time. This time I couldn't
hold it in.

"So," I said to him, surprising him that anyone would
call his bluff (common), "what kind of fuel mileage do
you get in that thing?" He says something like 40 mpg
or whatever.

"Wow, that's pretty good; wish I could get that with
the Ford Excursion..." I tracked him for the kill:
"What does it get on the highway at 55 mph in the left
lane?"

Again startled by that comment, he says "About the
same, but more importantly I reduce my carbon dioxide
emissions by XX pounds!" Hoo, boy, one of 'them'...

"Neat!" I said. "But, tell me, did you notice the
traffic backing up behind you? You paced that truck
for quite a bit, causing a lot of people to slow
down."

"Good!", he says, starting to get indignant.
"Everybody needs to slow down anyway!"

"That's true, we all drive too fast," I replied, "But
that's probably not going to happen. Instead, they'll
just spent a lot more fuel to get around you and go
faster anayway."

He snorts.

I continue. "Kinda like those two tractor trailers
that had to jake-brake, downshift a couple of gears,
get around you then accelerate away, all while spewing
out more diesel soot."

He looks a bit surprised. Just a bit. Then he looks
disgusted again.

Then I continue. "So doesn't that actually make you an
Eco-Whore?"

Surprised, he says "Huh? Wha? What do you mean??", he
says.

"Well, you're an Eco-Whore, because you THINK you're
providing a valuable service, when in fact you're
actually getting PAID to F**K THE PLANET!!!" (That
last part - verbatim - was said with quite the
grimace.)

Shocked, the guy looks at me like I was about to knife
him, suddenly jumps in his Prius WITH THE FUEL NOZZLE
STILL IN THE CAR and drives away, taking the hose with
him!

I just about lost my s**t right then and there!! Sahib
comes running out of the store waving his arms at the
departing Prius while I'm literally sitting on the
ground laughing! Then I noticed two other guys - both
in pickup trucks - are also laughing and giving me the
thumbs-up! I catch my breath and shout to them
"National Motorists Association, motorists.org!",
finish up my fueling, and head on my way.

That simply made my day. I have no idea where this
stuff comes from...