Can you understand a word it says?

[Eric]

$5 to the first person who can translate this:

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[Ken]

$5 to the first person who can translate this:

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'Mah house am on fire - boom, boom, boom, - gibs me dah money'?

Ken.

[Mithrandir]

$5 to the first person who can translate this:

BhqKr43dO_s&feature=player_embedded#at=13

"I was outside sitting in the chair then I saw some fighting [fire] and I opened the door then it said bloom [boom] then I said ma the house is on fire."

Not 100% sure, but this is my guess.

[dBrong]

He's sayin':

I bein' a junior porch monkey, inna trainin'. We's gonna hab a BBQ wid da Webber onna da front lawn. Den we gonna hab a picnik anna sit on the sofa on da front porch. Den we gonna see a film about how to rob a convience stoe.