I've been getting some good stuff lately. No telling where it came from though.

Sign at a car dealership:
The best way to get back on your feet--miss a car payment

On an electrician's trunk:
Let us remove your shorts

On a maternity room door:
"PUSH, PUSH, PUSH"

Optometrist's office:
If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place

On a fence:
Salesmen welcome--dog food is expensive

Music library:
Bach in a minuet

Muffler shop:
No appointment necessary--we'll hear you coming

Podiatrist's window:
Time wounds all heels

Maternity clothes shop:
We are open on labor day

In Urbana, Illinois:
NO PARKING ON THE SIDE OF VILLAGE STREETS WITH EVEN ADDRESSES ON ODD NUMBERED DAYS OR ODD NUMBERED ADDRESSES ON EVEN NUMBERED DAYS EXCEPT AS OTHERWISE DESIGNATED. A DAY BEGINS AT 6 PM THE PRECEDING DAY.

Near APO San Francisco:
EXIT 38 -- Goodwill Rd.-- Ammunition Plant 1 Mile