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Thread: Accident reports

  1. #1
    Senior Member grouch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008

    Talking Accident reports

    I particularly like the last one. These are actual police accident reports.

    Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
    The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intent.
    I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
    In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
    I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
    I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
    I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
    My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
    As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no sign had ever appeared before, making me unable to avoid the accident.
    I told the police I was not injured, but upon removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull.
    I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
    I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.
    The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
    I was thrown from my car as it left the road, and was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
    A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
    I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.
    To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
    The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
    The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.
    An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
    A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
    I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.
    Honk if you love Jesus.

    Text if you want to meet him.

  2. #2
    Vulture of The Western World Eric's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    The Land of The Edentulites
    Yes - they'd be funny if made up but that fact they are apparently true makes them hilarious!

    And remember: These people can vote....

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