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Thread: A "clover"!!!

  1. #1
    Vulture of The Western World Eric's Avatar
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    A "clover"!!!

    It is snowing (and icing) here; very treacherous driving. So naturally, I went out!

    "Out" means downtown Roanoke - about 35 miles away. And it means going down (and back up) Bent Mountain, which is named that for a reason. It's a series of switchbacks and sweepers that takes you from the top of the Blue Ridge (where we live) down to the Roanoke valley - an elevation change of about 1,000 feet in less than two miles. In summer, Bent Mountain is perhaps one of the best "public access" road-race courses on the East Coast; if you have a fast bike - or fast car - it is the perfect testing ground. But in winter, it will test your skills in other ways.

    Anyhow.

    Got down ok. Went to the gym; got some stuff at the store. Headed home - back up the mountain.

    Where I ran into a "Clover."

    This is my term for an idiot driver - in particular, an idiot driver who doesn't know he's an idiot driver. In this case, the "Clover" was one of those assholes who doesn't grasp the concept of momentum when attempting to make it up a steep, snow/ice-slicked grade. Bent Mountain is a 6 percent grade. Even if you have a 4x4 (which I do) when the weather turns to shit, you will not make it up the mountain if you slow to a crawl, let alone stop - which is just what the idiot bastard fuckwit ahead of me did when he espied another vehicle coming down the mountain in the opposite lane.

    Ohhhhhh! Danger! A car is coming the other way! Must stop for saaaaaaaafety! Flashers on! Think of the children!

    So this Clover idjit stops on the 6 percent uphill grade, forcing me to stop, too.

    Even in 4WD low, my truck's ass is now sliding off the road trying to grab hold of some traction. I manage to power out of the trap - going nearly sideways up the road for about 20 yards, front wheels cocked hard right. I get it straightened out, all's looking good - and there's the mother fucking Clover again - barely moving his god-damned motherfucking SmoooooooVeeee as the road gets even steeper and slicker.

    It is clear to me he's about to come to a full stop - again - because there's a caaaaaaaaaarrrrr off to the side of the roooooaaaaaad!!!! Saaaaaaaaafety!

    Fuck that - and fuck him.

    I power around this inept fuck who should have never left his driveway today and probably shouldn't be licensed at all - using the opposite lane to do it. I had a window of open road and I took it. Bye bye you dumb son of a bitch. I hope you have to walk 10 miles to a phone after you find yourself halfway up a steep mountain, your SmooooooVeee floundered like a landed sea bass, because you didn't understand the concept of keeping the fuck moving!

    Damn. I'm pissed!

    Why don't these Clovers stay home, where they belong?

    It's almost never the snow that gets you. It's some Clover who can't drive, but just has to go out in the middle of a blizzard.

  2. #2
    Ridin Dirty dom's Avatar
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    Dude, I feel ya.

    I live on a mountain too and I've had times where I just have to hand brake a 180 and go the other way because once my momentum is gone, so is my ability to make it home.

    It's pretty damn annoying, I know.

    "Tutto nello Stato, niente al di fuori dello Stato, nulla contro lo Stato "
    -Mussolini
    All within the state, nothing outside the state, nothing against the state.

  3. #3
    Vulture of The Western World Eric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dom View Post
    Dude, I feel ya.

    I live on a mountain too and I've had times where I just have to hand brake a 180 and go the other way because once my momentum is gone, so is my ability to make it home.

    It's pretty damn annoying, I know.
    I'm still pissed. I've been home 10 minutes and I still feel like kicking something!

    I think a certain someone will just love what I posted on the main page, though!

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eric View Post
    I'm still pissed. I've been home 10 minutes and I still feel like kicking something!

    I think a certain someone will just love what I posted on the main page, though!
    Braking, while driving up hill is one of my biggest triggers.

    My father was a Captain in the US Army (WWII) and also taught me to drive on Long Island and Manhattan.

    Needless to say I have a very diverse vocabulary of descriptional phrases and action verbs, that many journalists have not yet explored

    SOB is 'OK' but pretty primitive compared to my dad.

  5. #5
    Vulture of The Western World Eric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dBrong View Post
    Braking, while driving up hill is one of my biggest triggers.

    My father was a Captain in the US Army (WWII) and also taught me to drive on Long Island and Manhattan.

    Needless to say I have a very diverse vocabulary of descriptional phrases and action verbs, that many journalists have not yet explored

    SOB is 'OK' but pretty primitive compared to my dad.
    It makes my head want to explode!

    In addition to the primary Clover, I encountered Lesser Clovers during yesterday's snowstorm too. These were the ass clowns out on the road in ordinary cars - no snow tires or AWD/4WD - attempting to make it up a mountain pass in blizzard conditions. Every one of these LCs ended up in the ditch or - worse - sprawled in the middle of the (narrow) road, blocking the progress of non-Clovers who do know how to deal with snow driving.

    Arghh!

  6. #6
    Ridin Dirty dom's Avatar
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    I love the term 'clover' for dip shit drivers. Makes me laugh.

    You know a clover is part of the pea family.

    "Tutto nello Stato, niente al di fuori dello Stato, nulla contro lo Stato "
    -Mussolini
    All within the state, nothing outside the state, nothing against the state.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by dom View Post
    I love the term 'clover' for dip shit drivers. Makes me laugh.

    You know a clover is part of the pea family.
    I hope that catches on, although I think that it is a grave insult to clovers.

    "I'm looking over a four leafed-clover that I've overlooked before" Bugs Bunny

  8. #8
    Vulture of The Western World Eric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dom View Post
    I love the term 'clover' for dip shit drivers. Makes me laugh.

    You know a clover is part of the pea family.
    Me too!

    It has been officially christened.

    We need more special names for our show!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eric View Post
    Me too!

    It has been officially christened.

    We need more special names for our show!
    Clover is a great name for a fuckwitted driver.

    What show are you talking about? I want in!

  10. #10
    Vulture of The Western World Eric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by swamprat View Post
    Clover is a great name for a fuckwitted driver.

    What show are you talking about? I want in!
    I like it, too.

    Maybe we should make bumper stickers?

    The "show" is right here!

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eric View Post
    I like it, too.

    Maybe we should make bumper stickers?

    The "show" is right here!
    "Move over, Clover"

    "Clovers off the freeways"

    Just some ideas.

  12. #12
    Vulture of The Western World Eric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by swamprat View Post
    "Move over, Clover"

    "Clovers off the freeways"

    Just some ideas.
    I am going to check into it!

  13. #13
    Ridin Dirty dom's Avatar
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    I think like a Clover with a circle around it and a bar going over it like a no smoking sign.

    Then epautos.com on the side.

    "Tutto nello Stato, niente al di fuori dello Stato, nulla contro lo Stato "
    -Mussolini
    All within the state, nothing outside the state, nothing against the state.

  14. #14
    Vulture of The Western World Eric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dom View Post
    I think like a Clover with a circle around it and a bar going over it like a no smoking sign.

    Then epautos.com on the side.
    He's still trying to post on the MP, too... a real mental patient (in addition to being an inept driver).

  15. #15
    Ridin Dirty dom's Avatar
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    Oh I know. I've been deleting them multiple times a day.

    It's a shame he can't be constructive and actually contribute to the site.

    "Tutto nello Stato, niente al di fuori dello Stato, nulla contro lo Stato "
    -Mussolini
    All within the state, nothing outside the state, nothing against the state.

  16. #16
    Ridin Dirty dom's Avatar
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    Check out Clover up in front!


    "Tutto nello Stato, niente al di fuori dello Stato, nulla contro lo Stato "
    -Mussolini
    All within the state, nothing outside the state, nothing against the state.

  17. #17
    Vulture of The Western World Eric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dom View Post
    Oh I know. I've been deleting them multiple times a day.

    It's a shame he can't be constructive and actually contribute to the site.
    Four this morning.

    It's his way of screaming, "get off my lawn!"

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by dom View Post
    Check out Clover up in front!

    MAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Cover of a new magazine. The Daily Clover.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dom View Post
    Oh I know. I've been deleting them multiple times a day.

    It's a shame he can't be constructive and actually contribute to the site.

    I haven't seen this. Send me some of his missives. I'd be interested in having a psychological profile of a clover.

  20. #20
    Vulture of The Western World Eric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by swamprat View Post
    I haven't seen this. Send me some of his missives. I'd be interested in having a psychological profile of a clover.
    He was all over the Main Page but we had to delete some of his posts. They were just too stupid....

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