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Thread: My mother-in-law is a Clover

  1. #1
    Vulture of The Western World Eric's Avatar
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    My mother-in-law is a Clover

    She's a sweet lady but a terrible driver - a Clover of the first degree.

    Here's the latest evidence:

    She came to visit us this weekend, arriving - if you can call it that - Friday evening. She'd originally told us to expect her around 5 p.m. BY six thirty she hadn't shown and we could not reach her on the phone. We started to worry because the last time we'd heard from her was about two hours earlier when she was just outside of Mt. Airy, NC and near US 221 at Hillsville. This is appx. 60 miles from us. On a road with a posted speed limit of 55 MPH; the major north-south "rural highway" that divides the county. Most people are running around 60-65 MPH. Not my MIL. It took her about two hours to make the 60 mile trip. My sixth grader mathematical abilities tell me she was averaging about 35 mph the whole way. On a road with a posted limit of 55.

    Can you imagine the conga line?

    My wife got to experience this the next day when they two of them went downtown - to Roanoke, about 35 miles away on the same 55 MPH road. Took 'em 45 minutes. She said Mom never got much above 45 MPH.

    The worst part is that Mom doesn't have any idea she's a Clover. She thinks her driving is reasonable and that all those other people - the ones stacked up behind her - are "pushy speeders."

    Just some insight into the Cloverian mindset!

  2. #2
    Administrator Ken's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eric View Post
    She's a sweet lady but a terrible driver - a Clover of the first degree.

    Here's the latest evidence:

    She came to visit us this weekend, arriving - if you can call it that - Friday evening. She'd originally told us to expect her around 5 p.m. BY six thirty she hadn't shown and we could not reach her on the phone. We started to worry because the last time we'd heard from her was about two hours earlier when she was just outside of Mt. Airy, NC and near US 221 at Hillsville. This is appx. 60 miles from us. On a road with a posted speed limit of 55 MPH; the major north-south "rural highway" that divides the county. Most people are running around 60-65 MPH. Not my MIL. It took her about two hours to make the 60 mile trip. My sixth grader mathematical abilities tell me she was averaging about 35 mph the whole way. On a road with a posted limit of 55.

    Can you imagine the conga line?

    My wife got to experience this the next day when they two of them went downtown - to Roanoke, about 35 miles away on the same 55 MPH road. Took 'em 45 minutes. She said Mom never got much above 45 MPH.

    The worst part is that Mom doesn't have any idea she's a Clover. She thinks her driving is reasonable and that all those other people - the ones stacked up behind her - are "pushy speeders."

    Just some insight into the Cloverian mindset!
    That is so true, Eric. Clovers are convinced they are the safest drivers on the planet. They may cause accidents but they never have them. How can they be dangerous when they are driving at a nice safe speed all the time, not like those maniacs wanting to do sixty miles an hour, or - gasp - even more, everywhere. We get them here on our two lane country roads (one lane in each direction, each lane ten feet wide.) thirty five mph in the middle of the road, slowing down to a nice, safe, twenty mph on the curves and ten mph on the bends. Even our farm tractors go faster. These people are convinced that if everyone drove like them accidents couldn't happen. The fact that the economy would grind to a halt and the stress related heart attack rate would go up 200% is totally beyond their comprehension.

    Ken.
    Die dulci fruimini!
    Ken.
    Wolds Bikers, Lincolnshire, England.

  3. #3
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    At least now when I'm behind one I'll say clover or Clovis or cloveret. It helps bring down the stress level and even brings me smile. Remember the trick is to act like everything is normal when behind one and then blast them at the first safe opportunity. How about what do we call a tailgater that is yapping on a cell phone just inches off your bumper?

  4. #4
    Senior Member eesquared's Avatar
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    Mine, too! Last time I rode to the airport with my mother-in-law, it took us three hours to get from Blue Ridge, GA to the Atlanta airport on the interstate with posted speeds of 70 mph.

    I love her to death - she is the best MIL in the world. But, I do not like riding with her. She drives a little too ...umm...."careful" for my taste.

  5. #5
    Senior Member grouch's Avatar
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    My mother no longer drives (92, one eye and it isn't very good) but imagine my joy when at age 80, she came into money and told me she was buying a car. She had driven years earlier but hadn't for a long time. She had been taking driving lessons and wanted me to help her with getting some experience.

    I teach people to drive heavy equipment. Specifically lift trucks. Mom pulled onto a major street with a 45 mph speed limit. She was driving about 10. I felt a little bad about the way I was talking to her but it got her attention. She said I was making her nervous and I replied she'd be even more nervous when that semi ran over her.

    Needless to say, she picked the speed up and actually turned into a decent driver. I suspect her neighbor usually took her around when she neeed to go somewhere but it kept her independent for a while. When I was teaching my niece to drive, she was complaining to grandma about the way uncle was getting on her case. Mom just grinned and told her stories about my lessons to her. I spend too much time on the road to put up with games like that.
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  6. #6
    Vulture of The Western World Eric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam View Post
    At least now when I'm behind one I'll say clover or Clovis or cloveret. It helps bring down the stress level and even brings me smile. Remember the trick is to act like everything is normal when behind one and then blast them at the first safe opportunity. How about what do we call a tailgater that is yapping on a cell phone just inches off your bumper?
    Yep!

    And there's an insight to be taken from all this: Not all Clovers are deliberate dicks. They just don't know any better. Your advice about remaining calm, not crowding them - and getting by at the first opportunity - that's burned into my Life Code!

  7. #7
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    My brother is a clover. Back in the days of the 55 mph speed limit, he would often set his cruise control right on that number and lope along. When Texas finally got a 70 mph speed limit in 1996, he continued to set his cruise at 55 mph on the freeway. I would never drive with him again.

    I don't know where he got that from. Both my mom and dad drove fast on the freeways. I inherited that trait.

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