If you were a kid in high school (or college) during the mid-late 1980s -- and into fast cars -- you undoubtedly remember the last full-frame, rear-drive/live axle carbureted V-8 muscle car GM ever made:

The '83-'88 Monte Carlo SS.

It was conceived at a time when memories of the original muscle cars of the 1960s and '70s still lingered -- before rap music, before front-drive rice rockets took over the hearts and minds of kids looking to impress the chicks on Friday nights. When people -- especially high school and college-age people -- thought about performance cars in the Reagan years, they thought almost reflexively about Five-O Mustang GTs, Tuned Port Injection IROC-Z Camaros -- and the brooding presence that was the SS Monte Carlo.

Its striking Winston Cup bodywork -- shovel-nose front end with quad headlights, blacked-out grille, monochromatic paint job, beefy Eagle GT tires and rumpety-rump sewer pipe-sized dual exhaust hanging prominently behind the rear axle "pumpkin" -- made it an instant hit in 1983, the first year of production. Even better, the SS packed the goods to go with the stock car looks. Under that broad, flat hood sat the same basic "L69 HO" 305 cubic inch engine that became optional in the Camaro Z-28 and Pontiac Trans-Am that year. The 5-liter V-8 was pure old-time muscle -- from its cast iron block and heads to its aluminum medium-riser intake manifold and Rochester Quadrajet 750 CFM 4-barrel carburetor.

To goose output, Chevy fitted this engine with a high-lift Corvette camshaft, upped the compression to 9.5:1 and added a free-flow exhaust system with Corvette catalytic converter and a low-restriction air cleaner. Though this exact same engine was rated at 190-hp in the Z-28, the Monte's version was downrated slightly, to 180-hp -- probably to avoid annoying the Camaro faithful.

Now, by modern standards, 180-hp doesn't seem all that impressive -- but in the mid-'80s, it was top-shelf, with only a few high-performance models besting it (and even then, not by all that much).

A stock Monte Carlo SS was good for mid-15 second quarter mile runs -- and 0-60 blasts under 8 seconds -- plenty respectable for the era. But what made the car so much hee-haw fun was the easy burnouts (no traction control in those days), tire-chirping 1-2 upshifts through the turbo-hydramatic transmission and the redneck burble of a classic small block V-8. Flip the air cleaner lid to let the Q-Jet breathe deep, ax the catalytic converter -- and you were ready to rumble.

First year sales were decent -- but limited by available production capacity. Only 4,714 examples made it through the pipeline -- at a base MSRP of $10,474 (which was just slightly more expensive than the '83 Camaro Z-28's base price of $10,336). 1984 was much better -- with sales increasing nearly six-fold to 24,050. This trend continued into 1985, with sales climbing steadily to a production capacity limited 35,484. Chevy could have sold even more Montes if the two plants where they were built in Arlington, Texas and Pontiac, Michigan had been able to bolt more of them together -- but overall, the car's performance on the lot was every bit as solid as its performance on the street.

In '86, Chevy came out with a limited-edition version of the SS called the Aerocoupe -- designed with NASCAR competition in mind, just like in the good old days of the Plymouth Superbird and Charger Daytona.

The Aerocoupe was defined by its unique raised rear glass, which followed the roofline back to the tail to cut aerodynamic drag at high speeds. According to published figures, the swept-back "aero" rear glass reduced the car's drag coefficient relative to the standard notchback SS by nearly 3 percent -- a big deal on the high-speed ovals where race versions of the Monte were running. These cars also had a unique ducktail spoiler which provided downforce on the car's rear end -- and added to the heavy-breathing stock car ambiance.

'86 was also the first year for standard gas-charged Delco Bilstein shocks and new argent/aluminum 15x7 wheels very similar to the ones used on the '80-81 Camaro Z-28.

Smoked-glass T-tops became a popular option.

Of the 161,067 SS Monte Carlos produced during the five year run between 1983 and 1988, Aerocoupes are the most rare -- 1986 models especially. Just 200 were produced -- with another 6,052 built the following year. All were white -- with identical options -- which would have included the new-for-'86 15x7 aluminum rims with Goodyear Eagle GT tires, F41 sport suspension with high-effort steering and special "SS" decals and stripes.

Base price for the '87 Aerocoupe was $14,838 vs. $13,463 for the standard notchback SS.

By this time, unfortunately, sales had dropped sharply -- down to 16,204. 1988 would also be the final year for the Monte Carlo SS -- and, sadly, for a rear-drive, V-8 Monte Carlo. (Chevy decided the future lay in smaller, front-drive models like the soon-to-be-released Lumina.)

The Monte Carlo nameplate would be revived a few years later -- and V-8 power would return in 2006 (albeit in a front-drive configuration and with modern engine controls, etc.). But the classic muscle car layout of '83-'88 was history -- too crude for modern tastes; too politically incorrect to pass muster with The Man.

But the sound of an old SS under full steam -- Q-jet secondaries opening up, Eagle GT's skittering on the pavement -- is a pleasant reminder of simpler times, of cheap thrills, of rawboned American muscle.

They may build 'em faster -- but they'll never build 'em sweeter.

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