This from a guy on the M5 message board who apparently has
a lot of experience getting pulled over. I can't remember if I
posted them here before, but they are hilarious.

Police comments over the years -

Pulled over after pulling out of my driveway:
"Just want you to know that I'm going to catch you one of these days."

After waiting several minutes in the M5 on the side of the road for
him to finally catch up to me:
"Thanks for pulling over!"

Regarding my speed on one occasion:
"I set my cruise controll at 110mph and you were walking away from me!"

After getting a warning and being let go:
"I've called ahead to warn the National Gaurd of low flying aircraft."

After checking my record through the computer:
"Do you want to leave your car here or park it under that street lamp?"

Third time being pulled over by same officer:
"I thought they took your licence away?"

Fourth time:
"Driving while suspended! Do you know you could get a year in jail?!"

Stopped by two state troopers on I5:
"You passed our plane."

Many years ago. Caught speeding again. (Coming down off Mt. Hood on my
way back from hunting):
"I've never seen a deer head mounted on a Peugot."

Highway 99W in my 8.1 liter supercharged and intercooled Suburban:
"What do you have in this thing!?!"

Unmarked car on I5 (again):
"I was about to pull that Jag over for doing 100mph, but then I saw
you gaining in my mirror."

Highway 99E in my 930:
"Flames were coming out of your exhaust pipes."

Within the city limits in a construction zone.
"Can I borrow your pen, mine just ran out of ink."

For really great reading Alex Carroll wrote Speeding Excuses that Work. The Cleverest Copouts & Ticket Victories Ever!