Originally Posted by
Eric
The most important second language
By Eric Peters
Do you speak Used?
"Used," of course, is the international language of the used car classified ads. Those fluent in Used can decipher the critical modifers and clauses that sellers use to convey subtle details about the condition of the vehicle they're trying to sell -- or unload, as the case may be.
Those who don't speak Used can get into real trouble -- just like the ignorant Americano who doesn't know the difference between "Hombres" and "Senoritas" when it's time to hit the bathroom South of the border.
Here, then, is a practical guide to Used:
"Must see to appreciate" -- What a brutal life this car has suffered.
"Runs real strong" -- For a car with more miles on it than Elizabeth Taylor.
"Program car" -- Former media test car subjected to more repeated floggings than a prisoner at Gitmo.
"Clean" -- Recenty washed by sulky teenager
"Concours condition" -- Waxed (and dipped in Armor All) by sulky teenager.
"Rebuilt engine" -- New spark plugs and a can of "Motor Honey."
"Body solid" -- The car needs a new engine or transmission.
"Illness forces sale" -- I'm really sick of this car.
"Selling for a friend" -- The car was bought at a fleabag auction and the seller hopes to turn a fast buck by selling it to you for $1,000 more than he paid for it.
"A true classic" -- An old, tired, high-mile car one step away from the crusher.
"Loaded" -- The engine's shot, but the car has AC and power windows.
"Need a little work" -- Bring a tow truck.
END
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