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Thread: 15 Worst Car Names Ever

  1. #1
    Vulture of The Western World Eric's Avatar
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    15 Worst Car Names Ever


    Naming cars, like naming kids, sometimes comes out all wrong -- even with the very best intentions. Striving to be creative -- or just different -- some parents cripple their progeny with appellations guaranteed to result in a lifetime of mockery. It's the same with cars -- though it's much harder to change the name on the fender than it is to call yourself "Mike" instead of "Schemp"!

    Here are 15 contenders for the title, "Worst Car Name Ever":

    * Ford Probe -- In a single stroke, Ford managed to alienate half the potential buyers of this otherwise not-bad sporty two-plus-two coupe. The unfortunate connotations bothered many women in the same way that hearing that banjo theme from "Deliverance" tends to put most men on edge. Not one of Ford's better ideas.

    * Diahatsu Charade -- It's not really car; it's just pretending! This was one of those econo-boxes that was not merely humiliating to drive, it embarrassed its owner everytime its name was uttered in pubic. "I drive a Charade." Good-bye, prom date!
    (See also: Ford Aspire.)

    * Pontiac Aztek -- The name's not even spelled correctly, for openers. And it didn't help matters that the vehicle itself resembled a dumpster on wheels. The Aztec civilization stood no chance against the ugliness (and illiteracy) of this General Motors sheetmetal atrocity.

    * Isuzu Big Horn -- Sometimes, size really does matter! The associations conjured up here are surely not what Isuzu intended. That's what happens when things get lost in translation!

    * Mazda Protege -- Someday, it hopes to be a real car. Sort of like Robin looks up to the big guy in tights and a speedo.

    * Toyota Yaris -- What? The name sounds like the noise you'd hear issuing from the gullet of an exotic animal. Or maybe it is a small animal? (My Yaris had an accident on the carpet this morning... .)

    * Mitsubishi Mirage -- A "mirage" is something that's not really there; a figment of your imagination -- when in distress, especially. Not the hot ticket for a car name, eh?

    * Geo Prizm -- It doesn't separate light waves, just you from your cash. At least this thinly disguised, rebadged Toyota Corolla sold by Chevrolet was an ok car under its goofy nameplate.

    * Nissan Altima -- A made-up word that attempts to evoke positive associations -- in this case, height/achievement, apparently . (See also: Subaru Justy, Toyota Camry, Olds Alero, Chevy Lumina, etc.)

    * Pontiac Banshee -- This name never reached production, because luckily for Pontiac, someone consulted a dictionary. A Banshee's shriek heralds imminent death, among things -- not the hot ticket for a car name.

    * Dodge Swinger -- You'll also find ads for these on the back pages of porno magazines. Ok, it was the '70s. But still. STDs, anyone?

    * AMC Gremlin -- Do you really want to own a car named after annoying small problems that are next-to-impossible to fix? Courtesy of the same folks who brought you the Pacer.

    * Mercury Mystique -- Way too close to "mistake" for comfort. (A Mercury executive made just that slip-up at one of the press introductions for this car.) The third or fourth attempt by Ford to build a "world car" that not even the U.S. was much interested in.

    * Volkswagen Touareg -- Impossible to pronounce or spell correctly without lessons, this name takes the cake for being the most gratuitously recondite car name of the past 30 years.

    * Chevy Camaro -- This one apparently has double-entendre meanings in other cultures, such as "shrimp" -- or worse. (See also Chevy Nova; it "doesn't go" en espanol.)



    END



  2. #2
    Senior Member Kwozzie1's Avatar
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    Re: 15 Worst Car Names Ever

    Mitsubishi's Pajero seems to have escaped unscathed ;D
    Rex
    On the Sunshine Coast, in the Sunshine State Queensland (QLD), Australia

  3. #3
    Vulture of The Western World Eric's Avatar
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    Re: 15 Worst Car Names Ever

    Quote Originally Posted by Kwozzie1
    Mitsubishi's Pajero seems to have escaped unscathed ;D
    I thought about that - but being North America-centric, I figured few here would get the reference since we never got the car!

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    Re: 15 Worst Car Names Ever

    Mitsubishi does seem to have the knack of finding silly names for cars! Starion......we didn't mean Stallion, did we? Then there was the Carisma - it would be difficult to find a less charismatic car!

  5. #5
    Vulture of The Western World Eric's Avatar
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    Re: 15 Worst Car Names Ever

    Quote Originally Posted by Dave Brand
    Mitsubishi does seem to have the knack of finding silly names for cars! Starion......we didn't mean Stallion, did we? Then there was the Carisma - it would be difficult to find a less charismatic car!
    I remember the Starion; it was pretty neat looking, I thought. Had really big rubber for the time... but you're right about the name; sounds like something from Anime!

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    Re: 15 Worst Car Names Ever

    Quote Originally Posted by Eric
    I remember the Starion; it was pretty neat looking, I thought.
    A few of them are still racing very competitively in UK club racing.

    Mitsubishi has built several good-looking coupes. Did the FTO ever make it to the US? It was never sold here, but quite a few have been imported from Japan.

    FTO is short for 'Fresh Touring Origination', apparently!

  7. #7
    Vulture of The Western World Eric's Avatar
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    Re: 15 Worst Car Names Ever

    Quote Originally Posted by Dave Brand
    Quote Originally Posted by Eric
    I remember the Starion; it was pretty neat looking, I thought.
    A few of them are still racing very competitively in UK club racing.

    Mitsubishi has built several good-looking coupes. Did the FTO ever make it to the US? It was never sold here, but quite a few have been imported from Japan.

    FTO is short for 'Fresh Touring Origination', apparently!
    We got the Eclipse as well as the 3000GT - also sold for awhile under the Dodge nameplate as the Stealth R/T. This one offered as much as 300 hp and twin turbos. It was a hot runner. I drove a press example and got it close to 150 mph....

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    Re: 15 Worst Car Names Ever

    I would like to add Chevorlet Cavalier to the list. Its early iterations were terrible cars, and the name was fitting that Chevy was cavalier about its customers.


  9. #9
    Vulture of The Western World Eric's Avatar
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    Re: 15 Worst Car Names Ever

    Quote Originally Posted by swamprat
    I would like to add Chevorlet Cavalier to the list. Its early iterations were terrible cars, and the name was fitting that Chevy was cavalier about its customers.

    Yeah, but the name itself was ok. It just got ruined by the car!

  10. #10
    Senior Member Kwozzie1's Avatar
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    Re: 15 Worst Car Names Ever

    Fairlady!!

    This is the name that is given to the Nissan 350Z in Japan

    The earlier 280Z also had that name on grey ( used) imports that the NZ care industry thrives on.

    Fairlady...for a performance car. yeah
    Rex
    On the Sunshine Coast, in the Sunshine State Queensland (QLD), Australia

  11. #11
    Vulture of The Western World Eric's Avatar
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    Re: 15 Worst Car Names Ever

    Quote Originally Posted by Kwozzie1
    Fairlady!!

    This is the name that is given to the Nissan 350Z in Japan

    The earlier 280Z also had that name on grey ( used) imports that the NZ care industry thrives on.

    Fairlady...for a performance car. yeah
    Definitely awkward!

    2000GT was so much better!

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