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Thread: Nominated Best Joke of Year

  1. #1
    ColleenC2
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    Nominated Best Joke of Year

    This was nominated for best joke of the year - worth sharing.



    A Somalian arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United
    States.



    He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says,
    "Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country, giving me
    housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!"



    The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am Mexican." The man goes on and encounters another passerby. " Thank you for having such a
    beautiful country here in America!"



    The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese."



    The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops,
    shakes his hand and says, "Thank you for the wonderful America!"



    That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East, I am
    not American!"



    He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?"



    She says, "No, I am from Africa!" Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are
    all the Americans?"



    The African lady checks her watch and says...."Probably at work."

  2. #2
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    Re: Nominated Best Joke of Year

    I don't get it.

    Rob [NZ]

  3. #3
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    Re: Nominated Best Joke of Year

    Quote Originally Posted by robmcg
    I don't get it.

    Rob [NZ]
    Simple enough, most of these furriners on fair shores are turners, while the US citizens are at work supporting them.

  4. #4
    D_E_Davis
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    Re: Nominated Best Joke of Year

    Quote Originally Posted by robmcg
    I don't get it.
    Simple - it is funny to those afflicted by xenophobia. We had an outbreak of the same disease around 1847.


  5. #5
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    Re: Nominated Best Joke of Year

    Quote Originally Posted by jdm

    Simple enough, most of these furriners on fair shores are turners, while the US citizens are at work supporting them.
    'Turners'? These are the men who work in machine shops in the English Midlands.... making thinks with lathes and stuff...
    I think when they wanted higher wages than are common in Hungary, Bulgaria and China they took redundancy and bought country houses and turned them into bed'n'breakfasts for tourists...

    [neatly ignoring the ancestry of most non-furriners...]

    Where you been, boy?

  6. #6
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    Re: Nominated Best Joke of Year

    If that's the best joke of the year comedy is officially dead.

  7. #7
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    Re: Nominated Best Joke of Year

    Quote Originally Posted by robmcg
    Quote Originally Posted by jdm

    Simple enough, most of these furriners on fair shores are turners, while the US citizens are at work supporting them.
    'Turners'? These are the men who work in machine shops in the English Midlands.... making thinks with lathes and stuff...
    I think when they wanted higher wages than are common in Hungary, Bulgaria and China they took redundancy and bought country houses and turned them into bed'n'breakfasts for tourists...

    [neatly ignoring the ancestry of most non-furriners...]

    Where you been, boy?

    Sorry about that, I had the idea that the word was part of the NZ dialect.

    Where I been? I been figuring out a new big bad TV set which is not all that simple. It replaced a perfectly good box which was ten+ years old. Don't ask why, I don't bother you about changing cars as often as most people change their socks.


  8. #8
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    Re: Nominated Best Joke of Year

    Quote Originally Posted by Dave Brand
    If that's the best joke of the year comedy is officially dead.
    Americans didn't even get 'The Office'...

  9. #9
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    Re: Nominated Best Joke of Year

    Quote Originally Posted by jdm


    Where I been? I been figuring out a new big bad TV set which is not all that simple. It replaced a perfectly good box which was ten+ years old. Don't ask why, I don't bother you about changing cars as often as most people change their socks.
    I thought you might have been stuffing your mattress with cash for the upcoming US recession...

  10. #10
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    Re: Nominated Best Joke of Year

    Quote Originally Posted by robmcg

    I thought you might have been stuffing your mattress with cash for the upcoming US recession...
    We both no that mattress stuffing is a prime cause of recession. I'm trying to do just the opposite and if enough people join in it will be boom time again.

  11. #11
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    Re: Nominated Best Joke of Year

    >> I been figuring out a new big bad TV set which is not all that simple. <<

    Finally upgrading to color, huh?

  12. #12
    Senior Member misterdecibel's Avatar
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    Re: Nominated Best Joke of Year

    Nominated by whom?

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    Re: Nominated Best Joke of Year

    Quote Originally Posted by robmcg
    Americans didn't even get 'The Office'...
    Yet another example of the almost embarrassingly unfunny 'comedy' the BBC is churning out!

  14. #14
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    Re: Nominated Best Joke of Year

    Quote Originally Posted by jdm
    mattress stuffing is a prime cause of recession. I'm trying to do just the opposite and if enough people join in it will be boom time again.
    Ah. The 1933 Lithuanian Answer.... Print More Money

  15. #15
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    Re: Nominated Best Joke of Year

    Well, it's more like, if you shuffle the green bits of paper around fast enough, no one notices that they're going broke.

    Chip H.

    Former owner: 2012 Honda Civic LX, 2006 Honda Ridgeline RTL, 2000 Honda CR-V EX, 2003 MINI Cooper S, 1992 Honda Accord LX, 1999 Mercedes ML-320, 1995 VW Jetta GLX, 1991 Mercury Capri XR2, 1981 Mercury Zephyr, 1975 Chevrolet Impala

  16. #16
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    Re: Nominated Best Joke of Year

    Quote Originally Posted by Dave Brand

    Yet another example of the almost embarrassingly unfunny 'comedy' the BBC is churning out!
    Yearning for Fawlty Towers are we? Or Rising Damp.....

    but what would a Fenman know of humour, except the Russian kind...

  17. #17
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    Re: Nominated Best Joke of Year

    Quote Originally Posted by Jim Rose
    >> I been figuring out a new big bad TV set which is not all that simple. <<

    Finally upgrading to color, huh?
    Nah, I'm updating to BIG (and HD), the better to watch sports with. No home should be without a Biiiig TV, a shotgun and a couple of 6-packs.

    Now I'm looking for some kind of a stand, stacked milk crates ain't gettin' the job done with any beauty.

    At Super Bowl time, I'll upload some screen shots, perhaps one for every train pic?

  18. #18
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    Re: Nominated Best Joke of Year

    Quote Originally Posted by jdm
    No home should be without a Biiiig TV, a shotgun and a couple of 6-packs.
    Ah.
    The guitar-riff of old age. When you start asking for quick release rather than slow decline.

    Buy thee thine silly car and go forth with all guns blazing...


  19. #19
    Jean
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    Quote Originally Posted by robmcg View Post
    Americans didn't even get 'The Office'...
    I get it.
    It's just not funny.

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