Results 1 to 20 of 20

Thread: Top 10 Most Embarrassing "classic" cars

  1. #1
    Vulture of The Western World Eric's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    The Land of The Edentulites
    Posts
    22,741

    Top 10 Most Embarrassing "classic" cars

    You don't need to join a religious order to avoid the opposite sex - just acquire one of these road toads and you'll be soltero longer than Liberace.

    * Plymouth K-Car:

    Lee Iaccoca's sheetmetal chastity belt - the car that defined low expectations for an entire generation. Not even Wayne Newton has a chance in one of these. Attempts to plump up the charisma of these cars by adding "Hemi" badges to the fender worked about as well as Sponge Bob Squarepants' inflatable muscles.

    * Chevy Chevette:

    The "'Vette" you talk about but never want to show anyone - until you've got at least three Long Island iced teas in them. The car most likely to be owned by a balding guy named Bill working the assistant manager shift at a shopping mall fast food outlet.

    * Mustang II King Cobra:

    This car has held up as well as Farrah - a liver-spotted disco refugee whose charms have long since faded. It holds the ignoble distinction of being the least powerful V-8 Mustang ever made - just 129-hp from a 5-liter V-8 engine. 2 liter four cylinders make as much power today... .

    * Renault Le Car:

    This automotive speedo repels women as effectively as a Ron Jeremy book signing. Drive one and you'll be on your own forever. Renault went to extravagant lengths to further humiliate drivers of this road toad by emblazoning the car with enormous "Le Car" graphics on the side - the automotive equivalent of an "I'm 40 and still live at Mom's" T-shirt at a single's bar.

    * Dodge Omni Horizon:

    The machine for a man who knows his limitations - and isn't afraid to show them. Your date will be far over the horizon when she sees you rolling up in one of these. Seek out the Plymouth "Champ" version for the ultimate in vehicular vasectomies.

    * AMC Pacer:

    It's round - just like the bathtub you'll want to slit your wrists in after spending a Fridaynight cruising the McDonald's parking lot in one of these. Not even "Wayne's World" could make a Pacer cool. An entire country laughs at you.

    *Chrysler Tc by Maserati:

    A six-cylinder K-car based LeBaron "custom" with an opera window and front-wheel-drive. 'Nuff said.

    * Ford Pinto:

    If your love life doesn't go up in flames, perhaps you will. The absence of a $5 piece of steel reinforcement dropped to cut costs resulted in an explosive situation for drivers unlucky enough to be rear-ended. "Hit me and we die together" makes a great Valentine.

    * Porsche 914:

    The VW of Porsches - literally. Powered by the same basic engine used in humble Beetles and Hippie vans - for almost twice the price. These cars didn't fool anyone - least of all a prospective date.

    * Suzuki Samurai:

    Some lizards roll over their mates to knock them senseless. The Samurai does the same - but for the both of you. You won't survive long enough to get to second base if you pick her up in one of these.

  2. #2
    Senior Member grouch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    2,139

    Re: Top 10 Most Embarrassing "classic" cars



    Now, now, the "K" car did save the company. It was a decent running car with decent fuel mileage for the times. Yes, it was rather rough on the eyes. However, it was the platform for some impressive cars later on. The LeBaron used the same basic floor pan and so did the mini-van when it came out. The mini-van was like a license to print money for Mopar. To be honest, the original "K" cars were on the oogly side. (As in'Ooh, that's hard on the eyes'.) Later versions like the 1988-93 LeBaron coupe were actually nice looking for the times. The convertible sold quite well and weren't bad cars, as long as the top and rear windows worked right. Now, I know that appeal is in the eye of the buyer. A woman I work with drives a Pontiac Aztec. I mentioned it wasn't very stylish and she replied that she liked it and it's actually quite nice inside and that's where she sits.
    Honk if you love Jesus.

    Text if you want to meet him.

  3. #3
    D_E_Davis
    Guest

    Re: Top 10 Most Embarrassing "classic" cars

    Your inclusion of the Ford Pinto is a mistake - that line should be the Chevrolet Vega. Not only was the Pinto far more reliable than the Vega it also outsold the Vega by a good margin. And, with only 27 cases of Pinto fires the furor over read-end collisions was more hysteria than real.




  4. #4
    Senior Member misterdecibel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Little Rock, Arkansas
    Posts
    3,408

    Re: Top 10 Most Embarrassing "classic" cars

    I nominate the Bricklin and Delorean.

  5. #5
    Senior Member grouch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    2,139

    Re: Top 10 Most Embarrassing "classic" cars

    Quote Originally Posted by D_E_Davis
    Your inclusion of the Ford Pinto is a mistake - that line should be the Chevrolet Vega. Not only was the Pinto far more reliable than the Vega it also outsold the Vega by a good margin. And, with only 27 cases of Pinto fires the furor over read-end collisions was more hysteria than real.




    My sister bought one of the first Vegas off the line. She is more of a fanatic on maintenance than I am. She got 7 years out of the original battery in a '75 MGB by using only distilled water in it. Her Vega got regular oil changes and was kept washed free of salt. A few months after she bought it, I shut the door a bit too hard and rust fell through the headliner. She got rid of it in 1975 for the aforementioned MGB. At that time it had about 30K miles on it and got 100 miles to a quart of oil.

    That was one way that GM shot itself in the foot. Chrysler used an aluminum block in 1961 with the 225 slant six. However, Mopar used steel sleeves in the cylinder. GM used steel piston rings in an aluminum bore until 1975. They called the engine the "durabilt" engine that year. Later on, it was called the "Iron Duke" engine. Just a matter of following the lead of another company and doing the job right the first time. The Vega was like the Corvair. They cut costs at first and when they finally got the bugs out and made a decent car, they dropped it. Of course, the Vega lived on under other names. The Monza was a Vega with V-6 and V-8 options. The later Cavalier and now the Cobalt carry on the same way with GM cutting corners to save money and building poor equipment.


    My sister has bought several Saturns through the years. The newest one, an Ion, will be her last. The Ion is basically a Caobal with slightly different body and trim. She's had the car 4 years and is on her 4th radio. Now that the warranty has expired, that one is going bad. Poor build quality and it doesn't even get very good fuel mileage. My '93 Lincoln Town Car with well over 100K on it got better fuel mileage (24 as opposed to 21 for the Ion), was more comfortable, more roomy and looked a lot better. Now she knows why I don't buy new cars anymore.
    Honk if you love Jesus.

    Text if you want to meet him.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Kwozzie1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Sunshine Coast, QLD, Australia
    Posts
    2,072

    Re: Top 10 Most Embarrassing "classic" cars

    The Suzuki Samurai was marketed in NZ as the SJ413
    Another vehicle I have owned albeit briefly
    AND
    Yes they do roll over but are easy to put back on their feet again. I wasn't driving it at the time.
    Rex
    On the Sunshine Coast, in the Sunshine State Queensland (QLD), Australia

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    1,783

    Re: Top 10 Most Embarrassing "classic" cars

    One correction, the least powerful V8 Mustang was the '80 - '82 4.2 liter V8 with a whopping 120 horsepower.

    I posted this article on the main site:




    http://www.ericpetersautos.com/home/...3&Itemid=10854


  8. #8
    Senior Member misterdecibel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Little Rock, Arkansas
    Posts
    3,408

    Re: Top 10 Most Embarrassing "classic" cars

    The 914 didn't have a Beetle engine. It had a 411/412 engine. That engine may have been shared with the Series 2 Microbus, I'm not sure but I think so.

    It was at least as much of a true Porsche as any 356. And its front suspension was lifted straight out of the 911.

  9. #9

    Re: Top 10 Most Embarrassing "classic" cars

    The worst part of this is that I've owned half of the cars on this list at one time or another.........

    :

  10. #10
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    1,783

    Re: Top 10 Most Embarrassing "classic" cars

    Quote Originally Posted by ReasonOne
    The worst part of this is that I've owned half of the cars on this list at one time or another.........

    :
    The above cars are pretty reliable cars and most sold in large numbers. So you are not alone in owning some of these cars over the years. In fact I still see many of these cars on a regular basis. K-cars are still pretty common on the road.

  11. #11
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    5

    Re: Top 10 Most Embarrassing "classic" cars

    Renault Le Car:

    This automotive speedo repels women as effectively as a Ron Jeremy book signing. Drive one and you'll be on your own forever. Renault went to extravagant lengths to further humiliate drivers of this road toad by emblazoning the car with enormous "Le Car" graphics on the side - the automotive equivalent of an "I'm 40 and still live at Mom's" T-shirt at a single's bar.

    I knew a fellow that had one; women thought it was "cute" and he did quite well during his college years while driving the silly thing. I figured he had to have a set to be seen in it.

  12. #12
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    5

    Re: Top 10 Most Embarrassing "classic" cars



    One would assume this isn't the car you mean.

  13. #13
    Vulture of The Western World Eric's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    The Land of The Edentulites
    Posts
    22,741

    Re: Top 10 Most Embarrassing "classic" cars

    "One would assume this isn't the car you mean."

    Dirty pool, old man! ;D

    A competition-prepped Vega looks ok, too...




  14. #14
    DennisWG
    Guest

    Re: Top 10 Most Embarrassing "classic" cars

    I would say that of the many cars I have owned, by far the worst was the '73 Ford Pinto I had the misfortune of having.
    It got10 mpg on the highway, and I didn't want to know what it got in town. In the two years I owned this ugly little beast
    I replaced just about everything - sort of an automobile version of Paul Bunyan's axe. When I bought a used Toyota, I tried
    to sell the Pinto, but no matter how much I dropped the price no one would touch it. I gave up trying to sell it when one
    half-interested guy had the door handle fall off in his hand and then asked me ifI wanted it back. I got 104.00 on a trade in
    ---- 100.00 for the car because the dealer wanted the tires plus 4.00 for the sales tax. Maybe I should have waited; the
    sales tax is now 5.5%.

  15. #15
    Senior Member misterdecibel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Little Rock, Arkansas
    Posts
    3,408

    Re: Top 10 Most Embarrassing "classic" cars

    There's only one car on that list that will ever be a "classic".

  16. #16
    Vulture of The Western World Eric's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    The Land of The Edentulites
    Posts
    22,741

    Re: Top 10 Most Embarrassing "classic" cars

    Quote Originally Posted by DennisWG
    I would say that of the many cars I have owned, by far the worst was the '73 Ford Pinto I had the misfortune of having.
    It got10 mpg on the highway, and I didn't want to know what it got in town. In the two years I owned this ugly little beast
    I replaced just about everything - sort of an automobile version of Paul Bunyan's axe. When I bought a used Toyota, I tried
    to sell the Pinto, but no matter how much I dropped the price no one would touch it. I gave up trying to sell it when one
    half-interested guy had the door handle fall off in his hand and then asked me ifI wanted it back. I got 104.00 on a trade in
    ---- 100.00 for the car because the dealer wanted the tires plus 4.00 for the sales tax. Maybe I should have waited; the
    sales tax is now 5.5%.
    I knew a guy in college who had a Pinto wagon.... it was fun to execute parking brake u-turns in the thing!

  17. #17
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    1,783

    Re: Top 10 Most Embarrassing "classic" cars

    Quote Originally Posted by Jack
    Renault Le Car:

    This automotive speedo repels women as effectively as a Ron Jeremy book signing. Drive one and you'll be on your own forever. Renault went to extravagant lengths to further humiliate drivers of this road toad by emblazoning the car with enormous "Le Car" graphics on the side - the automotive equivalent of an "I'm 40 and still live at Mom's" T-shirt at a single's bar.

    I knew a fellow that had one; women thought it was "cute" and he did quite well during his college years while driving the silly thing. I figured he had to have a set to be seen in it.
    In a strange sort of way, they were exotic economy cars. Not many of them were around and it had a sporty look to it. I had a neighbor (when I was a kid) who owned one when they were new, and he had the hybrid convertible top/sunroof. Seemed to attract a lot of attention.


  18. #18
    Senior Member misterdecibel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Little Rock, Arkansas
    Posts
    3,408

    Re: Top 10 Most Embarrassing "classic" cars

    Quote Originally Posted by Pete
    Quote Originally Posted by Jack
    Renault Le Car:

    This automotive speedo repels women as effectively as a Ron Jeremy book signing. Drive one and you'll be on your own forever. Renault went to extravagant lengths to further humiliate drivers of this road toad by emblazoning the car with enormous "Le Car" graphics on the side - the automotive equivalent of an "I'm 40 and still live at Mom's" T-shirt at a single's bar.

    I knew a fellow that had one; women thought it was "cute" and he did quite well during his college years while driving the silly thing. I figured he had to have a set to be seen in it.
    In a strange sort of way, they were exotic economy cars. Not many of them were around and it had a sporty look to it. I had a neighbor (when I was a kid) who owned one when they were new, and he had the hybrid convertible top/sunroof. Seemed to attract a lot of attention.

    Thing about the R5 Le Car is that, for its time, it was a truly great small car. Until it broke. Sadly they broke often. But when everything was working, it was a fun little car to drive, and was very comfortable too. The R5 was hugely popular in its homeland.

  19. #19
    Vulture of The Western World Eric's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    The Land of The Edentulites
    Posts
    22,741

    Re: Top 10 Most Embarrassing "classic" cars

    Quote Originally Posted by misterdecibel
    Quote Originally Posted by Pete
    Quote Originally Posted by Jack
    Renault Le Car:

    This automotive speedo repels women as effectively as a Ron Jeremy book signing. Drive one and you'll be on your own forever. Renault went to extravagant lengths to further humiliate drivers of this road toad by emblazoning the car with enormous "Le Car" graphics on the side - the automotive equivalent of an "I'm 40 and still live at Mom's" T-shirt at a single's bar.

    I knew a fellow that had one; women thought it was "cute" and he did quite well during his college years while driving the silly thing. I figured he had to have a set to be seen in it.
    In a strange sort of way, they were exotic economy cars. Not many of them were around and it had a sporty look to it. I had a neighbor (when I was a kid) who owned one when they were new, and he had the hybrid convertible top/sunroof. Seemed to attract a lot of attention.

    Thing about the R5 Le Car is that, for its time, it was a truly great small car. Until it broke. Sadly they broke often. But when everything was working, it was a fun little car to drive, and was very comfortable too. The R5 was hugely popular in its homeland.
    Gimme a Cordoba... it, at least, had a V-8 and was RWD!

  20. #20
    Senior Member misterdecibel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Little Rock, Arkansas
    Posts
    3,408

    Re: Top 10 Most Embarrassing "classic" cars

    Quote Originally Posted by Eric


    Gimme a Cordoba... it, at least, had a V-8 and was RWD!
    Oh yeah, an anemic Lean Burn 318, what a barn burner. I swear you can count, in seconds, the delay time between when you step on the gas and when something actually starts happening. Those late '70s/early '80s Chrysler products were the pits. I'd rather have a Pinto.

Similar Threads

  1. Classic car hobbyists gets "taken"
    By Eric in forum What happened to our liberty?
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 10-10-2010, 06:50 AM
  2. Classic Car "Accessories"
    By Eric in forum Classic Car Corner
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 08-21-2010, 08:51 AM
  3. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 08-20-2008, 08:09 AM
  4. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 08-12-2008, 12:22 PM
  5. Replies: 4
    Last Post: 01-07-2008, 08:16 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •