Hut! Hut! Hut! Heroes Seize "Non-Compliant" Land Rovers

2014 Lexus IS 350

Ferguson

Pork Products

2014 Lexus IS 350

Good things come in small packages – but sometimes, they’re maybe a bit too small. Hence, Lexus’ re-bopp of the IS…

Ferguson

If someone beat you up and stole your wallet, would you beat up the next person who comes along –…

Pork Products

There but for the grace of Mike Valentine go I, I thought. Yesterday was the first nice day we’ve had out…

New Car Reviews

2014 Lexus IS 350

'14 IS 350 curb 1

Good things come in small packages – but sometimes, they’re maybe a bit too small. Hence, Lexus’ re-bopp of the IS series sport sedan. It’s bigger now – with a passenger-viable backseat. Unlike its most obvious competitor – the Mercedes-Benz CLA. Which is a gorgeous car and a hell of  deal, with a brilliant drivetrain (potent turbo four, almost 40 MPG on the highway)…

2015 Honda Fit

'15 Fit lead

Last week, I test-drove the new three-cylinder (and turbocharged) Ford Fiesta. A neat little car – emphasis on little. This week, I have the new Honda Fit, which is also little - but isn’t small. At least, not where size matters. Much as I enjoyed driving the Fiesta – with its admirably eager (and laudably fuel-efficient) turbo triple engine – I’d hate…

2014 Hyundai Sante Fe

'14 Sante FE GLS

Having two versions of the same crossover is pretty smart. Not everyone needs three rows – and room for seven. Some, on the other hand, have got to have that third row. The Hyundai Sante Fe is the only medium-small crossover that comes both ways – take your pick. WHAT IT IS The Sante Fe is Hyundai’s entrant in the compact…

2014 Ford Fiesta “Triple”

'14 Fiesta head on pic

I’ve got a triple in my garage. It’s loud and fast, but spews oily smoke – and gets terrible gas mileage. Probably why Kawasaki stopped making triples. Well, this kind of triple triple. (Two stroke triples.) Then there’s the kind that gets great gas mileage – but makes you pay for it in other ways. The Geo Metro kind of…

2014 Hyundai Equus

'14 Equus lead

Ever buy a generic drug? Most of us have – because we know it’s the same drug as the name-brand drug. Just costs a lot less. If it works the same, who cares about the label? This is the mindset to have when considering the Hyundai Equus. It’s a large luxury sedan with standard V-8 power, rear-wheel-drive, and a long…

2014 Scion tC

'14 tC potential

By the early ’70s, it was getting tough for anyone under 30 to partake of known muscle cars like the Pontiac GTO and Chevy Chevelle SS . . . not so much because they were expensive to buy, but because the insurance Mafia was making it increasingly impossible for the younger set to afford driving one as a result of extortionate premiums. So the car companies…

Politics

Hut! Hut! Hut! Heroes Seize “Non-Compliant” Land Rovers

Land Rover Destruction

Apparently, old cars now threaten the “homeland” (every time I hear that word used I feel as though I’ve been inserted into a black and white movie from the ’30s about Nazi Germany and trench coat-wearing Gestapo agents…  then realize it’s our living color reality here, today).  Anyhow, this couple in Statesville, N.C. got Hut! Hut! Hutted! by a gaggle of heimatsicherheitsdeinst (that’s “Homeland Security,” in the native tongue) agents on account of their possession of an old Land Rover Defender whose papieren were not in ordnung. Bill…

Pork Products

angry pig picture

There but for the grace of Mike Valentine go I, I thought. Yesterday was the first nice day we’ve had out here in The Woods in almost a week. So I took my ’03 ZRX1200 out for a run. The pork to people ratio in The Woods is relatively favorable and on a fast motorcycle, you’ve got few worries anyhow. Breaking contact is a simple matter of tucking in and letting the Keihins breath free. Bye-bye, now. But, once out of The Woods it’s a different story.…

Sexual Battery . . . and Speeding

Va cop 1

In Virginia, they’re both Class 1 Misdemeanors  - along with animal cruelty and larceny. One small notch below a felony. They’ll put you in jail for it. The speeding, I mean. Sexual battery? Meh. Give ‘em a fine, maybe an ankle bracelet, send ‘em on their way. But Johnny Cochran help you if you get nabbed doing over 80 in Virginia. Or more than 20 MPH faster than any speed limit – no matter how preposterously under-posted. A fellow car journalist over at Jalopnik just learned…

Roasted Kids

homer's car

If you’ve been watching the news lately, you already know all about it. And you know what’s coming on account of it. Homer’s car – you know – the one designed by Homer Simpson, with every Rube Goldberg-esque gewgaw imaginable by the mind of a cartoon TV show idiot – is becoming a reality, courtesy of unfortunately all-too-real-idiots who get to dictate car design such that it assuages their overwrought emotions. At other people’s expense, of course. The latest affectation aborning is a mechanism to prevent children…

More Than Just Your Papers, Please . . .

fingerprint lead

Do we live in a police state? What other state forces non-criminals to submit to fingerprinting in order to obtain permission to drive? Or merely to exist? The state of Texas does. So do the states of California, Georgia and Colorado. Soon, the entire UnitedState (singular usage, in the interests of editorial accuracy)  is likely to require it. Indeed, already does – under the auspices of the REAL ID Act, passed back in ’05 by the Heimatsicherheitsdeinst. That’s Homeland Security, in English. But it amounts to the…